Jas

Full of unhappiness

2009-04-28T22:09:00.003+08:00

It's been so long since I update my blog.
I wonder if anyone reads it anyway?
haha

Really full of unhappiness, and just to pour out all here if I could.

Why am I still there? I wonder how long more I can stay there.

I know that I am not the best person , not the most clever person. But I wish to have more exposure to just only 'scan n photocopy'. I wish to get involved more. Yes, for my future, also for my good. But who wants to work as a person with such scopes given but nicer position name only?

I am not saying if I were given some other stuffs to do, I can get it right and nice. But I am willing to try if you give me a chance and guide me 1st! Dun expect me to know how to start when I didnt even have any experience.

It's just like u you want a baby to walk himself, but you need to teach him in the start 1st, den let him walk n fall on his way of learning.

But if you dun teach me from the start, I cant and DUN even know what is standing.
Does it makes some sense out there?

I dun like the feeling of being left out, I hate it.

Dun tell me you expect alot from me when I am just a small 'ANT' to you .
Dun tell me that you want me to make improvements when you dun get me to discussion.
or letting me in discussion halfway ( head & toe) , and expect me to the noe the body and give opinions etc...

What can I do??
I rushed home, try to do what interest me.

started singing. hoping I can feel better, but I just couldn't get concentrated and can't sing like me. Keep thinking still!!! shit damn shit!

So I started dancing , and I get to get more concentrated. Felt so happy and relief at the moment!!! it's really nice.
However, good thing ends fast and things get to my mind after it. :(

2009-02-05T11:57:00.000+08:00

Happy 1 yr 5 mths anniversary with my dear !

Really very happy to be with my dear! He surprised me by bringing me to a very nice place- Marina barrage!! I never heard of this place b4 seriously..but when I reach there, I realised it's damn nice! The view are very very nice and it's just so wonderful! haha. :)

We ate at the 7th storey restaurant, dear thought it's @7th storey but it's actually the name of it :p
Total dinner = $98 ( not worth, it's the scenery very nice only. The steamboat & al-cart so so only )
After that we went to walk ard...walked from 9 plus to 11 pm loh... haha..very nice :)

photos will be uploaded soon...:)

2009-01-01T23:55:00.001+08:00

Happy New YR ! Happy 2009 yr ahead.
Wishes everyone good health. World Peace and harmony.
My family united.
My friends united.
Others... Secret :)

Everyone stay happy always.!
I love dear always :p

On 31st Dec 08, it was the last day of the year. Well, some unpleasant happens which affected my mood. But after that I try to forget it and be happy and cheerful :p
So went to a place at pungol park , Bliss cafe ( surrounded with ponds and in btw the park)... Total spending per person = $60... cuz they ordered 2 wines and our own dish and side dishes. So Expensive :( but we had a nice countdown with the close friends.. Got me, dear, Dedric n his gf (Joanne), Kaykheong, ZhongM ing, WeiLun, Ming De, KayKheong Bro.

And on the new day of 2009.... morning went to eat breakfast with dear... Den afternoon we rest at home... Late afternoon went to chinatown to eat steamboat (Chong Qing huo guo) with my parents, kor n his gf, and dear.
Total spending was like $117...

2008-12-31T19:30:00.000+08:00

It's been quite sometime since I updated my blog...

Just some updates before the 2008 yr ends....

Time really pass by so fast. In fact, in times we wish that time passes faster but in times we wish it passes slower. Well, it all depends on the situation don't you agree?

But 岁月不留人 !

On 25th Dec 08, itself, MErry CHristMas! Went to 1045am church... den went to Grandpa's house for christmas gathering with the uncles n aunties .... Received gifts, dear received too :p But as we grow old, the gifts are so standard, so bored HAHAHA

On 24th Dec 08, went to Mambo Jumbo Zouk...... for countdown for CHRISTMAS!
Really holiday mood at the ending of Dec, so many holidays and leaves after the holidays! woohooo :p

But the countdown @zouk for christmas was quite disappointing ... The songs in the start till ard 2am was not retro but other weird types of music which give us no mood to dance... And there isn't a countdown. Thought the DJ would countdown with the crowds, but when 12am comes, the big screen just show 'Merry Christmas', n fake snow falls n pp shouting ard only in their own groups...was expecting more ya :)
But anyway I and Dear stayed till 5am at zouk that day while Zm, KK, CC, Robin and WL stayed till 6am! power sia... haha

On 22nd Dec 08, I brought the Asus P552w phone :p I love it !

On 21st Dec 08, went to Ryan's bdae !~

On 19th, 20th, 21st Dec 08, was at the chalet @downtown east. On the 1st nite, played games till 6am like that. Then, 20th Dec, went to eat breakfast at the nearby and went to get satays, stingray and otahs from CitySatay. After that went to escape theme park to play as we have 4 complimentary ticket. So me, dear, Dedric, and Kaykheong went there. It was so funny when I think of KK saying he is scare,oops. hahaha... :p
At nite, have BBQ ...all people are present. So enjoyable, like big family (Kaykheong, WeiLun, Zhong Ming, Yiehai, Cheng Chong, Ming De, Yande, Kayboon, Yong Qiang n his gf, Dedric n his gf,dear n Me) :p
And we have christmas exchange gift, log cakes to eat... and of cuz game session till 6am...woohooo...

Photos will be randomly uploaded soon.

On 17th Dec 08, went to the new club called 'Rebel' with my dear. It's RnB night. Well, the songs are quite nice and I enjoy as I love RnB songs! But there really alot of desperate 'guys' youngsters ... lols...

Photos will be randomly uploaded soon.

On 13th Dec 08, had my company dinner @Royal Plaza (beach road)...
Stary Stary Night ! So dress like a star and impress everyone, that's the theme.
Overall, it's enjoyable just that didn't win any prizes. But still have 30dollar voucher it's still acceptable better than nothing right :)

Photos will be randomly uploaded soon.

2008-11-05T23:50:00.000+08:00

On Tues (4-Nov-08), my colleagues gave me another surprise. They actually brought me a gift. It's a necklace from taka jewerlley. It's beautiful. Thank you to :

Joll, Ashlee,Leong, Grace, Tanaka, Chong, Huan kiat,Tjia Lin, Peter Lim,Chee Hock, Kiang.

I really had a very great 21st with deardear and my dear frens. It's very memorable and unforgettable day in my life.

2008-11-05T23:30:00.000+08:00

Happy 21st birthday to myself! & A very big THANK YOU to everyone!!!

On Sun (2nd-Nov-08), My Offical 21st yr old! I think many pp mistaken my bdae to be on 1st Nov, but anyway my offical 21 is on 2nd-Nov-08!

Left the chalet ard 11am. We send PohYing home, den headed to somewhere that dear wanted to surprise me. He asked me to closed my eyes till I reached the place. He actually brought me a bouquet of Blue roses! it's the 2nd gift, I love it. I am so happy :)
Then, we headed to dear house to take things... He gave me the 3rd gift- Hugo Boss Ladies Perfume! :)
Then, we headed to JP, and I waited for dear dear while he go do things which I can't know. Lols... He came me a mini-shirt with design of our pictures & hearts @sea. it's the 4th gift, I love it so much.

Then, dearly brought me to 'maxwell' to have lunch. It's a memorable place for us, because it's part of our love starts.
We ate porridge, and fried you tiao with fish paste. It's very nice :)

Then, dear brought me to a place- Wild Wild Wet!!! I am so happy & excited. He say I am like a kid hehe.. We played 2gether fro ard 4 to 7...:) Darling, remember me wanting to go there so much after that time not able to go due to renovation, so he brought me there tis time.

After that, dear brought me to eat @bedok -ba chor mee, carrot cake, & chinese mixed rojak.
We waited for the ba chor mee for 45mins. LOLs

After that, dear actually booked a place for chilled out @ 1 twenty-six, but it closes @10.30pm...hence, we did not go in the end.

Darling, thanks for everything. I really love you so much.

2008-11-05T23:00:00.000+08:00

On sat(1st-Nov-08), here it comes my party. It's very tiring, really. I actually slept @5am on fri and woke up @830am on sat. Den went to buy food with dear & dad for my party at nite. Reached the chalet ard 3pm. Yiehai reached earliest to help out. Followed by Zhong Ming & KayBoon.

Here comes many many effort & work. Pohying came early too and helped up.

I want to special thanks to the following pp whom came to help me up alot,
- Dear dear, Dad, YieHai, Zhong Ming, KayBoon, Pohying, KayKheong, Cheng Chong, Meng Tuck!
Without their help, my party won't go on so smoohtly. IT's Really BIG BIG Effort. THANKS!!!

They are all my dear's friends, I know them with dear @ the same time last yr August like tat. Ard 1 year plus... But you can see who is your true friends whom will help u, they are really great pp. .:) Only Pohying is my sec fren that came to help me early. Really thank you very much.

Thanks for those that came to my party on sat nite.
- My Family: Daddy, Kor & his GF
- My dear's frens: WeiLun, Zhong Ming, Meng Tuck, KayKheong, KayBoon, YieHai, Cheng Chong, Png, Joanne, Yong Qiang, Trica.
- My Sec frens: CheeSiang, Jeremy, Cheryl, Alvin,Aaron, PohYing, Mavia, ShuHui, GeokHwa, Huishan, Peggy & her BF, HueyYuan & her BF, YanLing, Suhsing. ( A pity forgot to take pics with Huishan, Peggy, Jeremy, Cheryl, Cheesian, Alvin)
- My poly frens: Huiwen, DitChing, Joan (Xbb), Wen Yan.
-My outside frens: Vivian, Jun Jie, WeiLun(outside).

Mavia, Peggy & Bf, Joan & WenYan left early,so unable to cut cake with me. ( Thanks WenYan especially, I am touched you came)
Huiwen, DitChing, Vivian, JunJie, WeiLun(outside) left after cutting cake.(Thanks for your patience to wait)

CheeSiang, Jeremy, Cheryl, Alvin,Aaron,ShuHui, GeokHwa,Huishan, Yiehai & KayBoon stayed till ard 3am.

Zhong Ming, KayKheong, WeiLun, Cheng Chong stayed till 6am.
And Meng Tuck & PohYing stayed overnight with me & dear.

Thanks to you guys for being here with me for the party celebration. It's so fun.
Steamboat dinner is really tiring. But I never regret doing it. Cuz it's fun, like big gathering sit there eat together. And also can eat alot.

2008-11-05T22:18:00.002+08:00

On Fri(31-Oct-08), I am really very surprise and touched by you guys. 1 of my colleague actually brought a card and pass ard to other colleagues to write theirs wishes to me. Though it's just a card, but it's very precious to me, it's the 'xin yi 心意 ' that counts.

Thank you for the following colleagues that send me your wishes through the card...
Ashlee, Leong, Joll, CheeHock, Joseph, Haishan, Peter Lee, Peter Lim, Szeyin, Joll, Meiwen, Tanaka-my manager, Helena, Zhiyi, KimSeng, YeeYing, Kiang, Chong, Grace, Tjai Lin, WeiCheng, Desmond.

THANKS ALOT!!!

After work, went to eat with my other department QC people to have a wonderful dinner. We went to Boon Lay Raja Restaurant with them- Joseph, WeiCheng,KimSeng, Szeyin, ZhiYi, YeeYing. The dinner was nice, they brought me a cheese cake from 'secret recipe' . Really surprise me, they treat me for the dinner too. Thanks alot, it must be very costly. :)

After tat, went home cuz need to send mummy to Taipei. She is goin oversea to relative wedding. Mummy felt very bad that didn't celebrate with me for 21st bdae. But nvm, cuz on mon we went to eat dinner at Ahjisen @IMM with parents, kor & gf, and dear.
Mummy gave me ang bao on fri nite. :)

2008-11-05T22:00:00.000+08:00

Firstly, on Mon(27-Oct-08) noon time with to buy a dress for my bdae party. After that, went to eat early bdae dinner at Ahjisen @IMM with parents, kor & gf, and dear.

On Tues(28-Oct-08), my kor & his gf gave me a necklace.

On Thurs( 30-Oct-08), took AL. Then, morning went to make my hair- dye, highlight, cut ( $152). After tat met dear to buy some things for preparation for sat party. At nite, went for mani & pendicure( $81). Den went to buy shoes, lipgross, glitter eyeshadow, bracelet ($50).
Dear gave me his 1st gift- Ear Ring.

On Thurs nite, Aunt went to my house to pass me a 'picard bag' imported from Germany for my bdae gift. Thanks Aunt.

2008-10-29T11:57:00.005+08:00

What do I want for my bdae? I dun really know. I want my friends to be there.
My kor & his gf brought me a necklace, mum shl be getting me a bracklet, dear shl be getting me perfume.... what else do I wish to have?

Perhaps......
I want flowers with or without bears. ( dun need real ones unless u tell me how to keep it so that it won't go dead, or else fake one will be good, so I can keep.) [ I love blue/red/pink ]
I want shopping vouchers & ang bao's
I want camera
I want D.I.Y/handmade gifts, handwritten cards

Other than all these, there is of cuz many more things, but I can't think of it...Too much things happen, I can't remember all.

MOST importantly, I WANT to be HAPPY.
Can this wish be fulfill?

sad

2008-10-28T12:21:00.004+08:00

Why do I have to face this. I really dun wish. Everything seems like a dream, but it's not. Why do I have to face such 'facts'. It's in my mind. I can't imagine this would happen.

Thanks dear for being with me, I can feel your love, your care, your sweetness. You are really nice to me, if you are not with me I duno what I was. Thanks dear dear.

I love u.

My 21st bdae is just in 5 days time ... celebrating in 4 days time...
What do I wish for now... Wish that everything is just a dream, but it's impossible. So what can I wish for....

2008-10-23T15:32:00.002+08:00

Just some updates....

Been quite busy & sick these days... but now getting better...:)

My 21st Bdae is coming !!! I have invited friends to my bdae celebration a day before my actual bdae which is 1st Nov 08.

Getting excited, happy as well as sad? haha, cuz 21 yrs old like veri fast old...LOLs.

Anyway, I don't really know what are my wishes. But I really wish that all my love ones will be there on the celebration 1st Nov 08. Really really hope 6gals will appear, but I dun think it's possible hais. If all appeared, that WILL be one of the BEST gift to me besides others. I would be very happy and touched. lols.

Of cuz I wish all the people I invited to be there too, just hope that there won't be many people 'pang sei' me that day.

Will update again soon.

2008-10-09T09:07:00.002+08:00

Let's cherish every moment we have been given
The time is passing by
I often pray before I lay down by your side
If you receive your calling before I awake
Could I make it through the night

Cherish the love we have
We should cherish the life we live
Cherish the love
Cherish the life
Cherish the love
Cherish the love we have
For as long as we both shall live
Cherish the love
Cherish the life
Cherish the love

The world is always changing
Nothing stays the same
But love will stand the test of time
The next life that we live in
Remains to be seen

The story....

One might well study the art of differing. It is not necessary that two people should be absolutely of the same opinion in order to live together harmoniously. One need not be the walking echo of the other. In fact, such a condition of affairs- would, in reality, be most unsatisfactory for anyone blessed with average intelligence. A great deal of pleasure is to be derived from discussing many things with those who view them from an angle different from one's own. We are enlightened by seeing through other's eyes ; we are broadened in our sympathies by learning how others feel; our life is, therefore, enriched through differences.

To derive benefit from such circumstances, however, it is necessary for one to learn to consider matters dispassionately, and with nothing but the most harmonious feelings at heart. As one spiritual teacher has aptly phrased it, "Agree to differ, but never disagree." This means that there will always be an atmosphere of agreement and of harmony in every difference which may come up.

One reason why it is so difficult for the newly married to differ harmoniously is because their feelings are so keenly involved, and they have not as yet learned to consider instinctively, as it were, the other's point of view. The bride will find herself thinking, when some disputed house-hold matter, it may be, comes up for discussion: "Well, I don't care. I think he might consider my wishes in this matter. If he loved me, he would rather do what I want than anything else in the world." Without doubt, her husband is thinking approximately the same thing; and in a little while they are accusing each other of having already begun to lose some of the deep devotion which has drawn them together.

The difference in itself, in all probability, is very insignificant, but the question of each other's love, which it has raised, is of serious import. It is only where there is perfect confidence in each other's unselfish devotion that there is found the necessary tolerance for an harmonious, united life. After years of marriage, that confidence generally comes, so that the two can differ with the utmost good humor and mutual understanding.

It is well for the young wife to make rather a careful study of this subject of quarrels, because in many cases she has it in her power to avoid a great many of them. A man in the business world learns to overlook a great many things. He is obliged to, in order to hold his position. He gets the sharp corners knocked off, and he learns to mind his own business and pay very little attention to other people. Men talk to each other with brutal frankness, as a rule, anyway, and here possibly will be found the beginning of trouble in the home.

The husband, feeling that in his wife he has found a good "pal," instinctively begins to talk to her as he does to the other fellows. He tells her that the way she has hung the parlor curtains makes them look sloppy; that he does not like all this fol-de-rol, referring to specimens of her handiwork, it may be, which are meant to adorn the home ; and altogether shows a brutal disregard for her feelings, which probably drives her to her room in a spasm of tears. Of course, it is all very unkind and unfeeling of him, and he should know better. He should have learned the little tactful ways which would enable him to sugarcoat his criticism with such words of appreciation as would enable her to take the dose without a qualm. But he hasn't learned these, and she should, therefore, be willing to overlook the acts and words which are the outcome of his ignorance. That does not mean that she should always put up with such boorishness, but only that she should have enough self-control not to let these little things upset her. If she retains her equanimity, she may be able, later on, to point out to him a better way.

We lose all our power when we let our feelings drive us to tears. That is a waste of energy which we can ill afford. The woman who has the power to rise above all of these petty disturbances will be the one who eventually will dominate the home atmosphere and bring it into that harmonious condition which both really desire.

In the first place, she must have complete confidence in her husband's love. No matter how many times he walks roughshod over her tender sensibilities, no matter how clumsy and blundering he may be in the expression of his desires and wishes, she must hold fast to that fundamental fact and never let it escape from her. When she is fairly quivering from some bit of apparent heartlessness, she must learn to say to herself, "Well, poor fellow, he doesn't know any better. I must try to teach him."

There is only one way in which she may teach —and that is not by word of mouth. It is easy to talk, but it is difficult to do. She must teach the better way by showing it ; and the first step in that direction is for her to ask herself, when-ever an inharmonious condition has arisen in the family, "Where was I to blame in that? What was my fault?"

In order to find the answer to these questions it is not enough for her to dwell simply upon the last five minutes of the quarrel, going over all of the unkind things he said when his anger was finally aroused, and justifying all of the equally unkind things she said in that way. To find the cause of the quarrel, she must go back to the very beginning. What was it that caused the first remark that eventually led to the unpleasantness? She may be able to put her finger on some very inconsiderate remark of her husband's; but was she not too hasty in interpreting it in the most unkind way? May it not have been that he meant it very differently from the way in which it sounded in her ears? Suppose, instead of flaring up at his apparent unkindness, she had had enough self-control to smile up into his face and say, jocosely, "Well, now, just how do you mean that?" If she had given the poor, blundering, masculine creature a chance, he might have been able to show her that, back of it all, was a sincere desire for her happiness, or for their mutual benefit; but, of course, when she took it in the wrong way, he wasn't going to back down from his original position. And so they went on, making a bad matter worse, until the final crash came.

Now, what are they going to do about it? She has gone to her room, thrown herself upon her bed, and given way to a flood of weeping. He went around down stairs for a while, hoping that she would reappear, and then slammed his way out of the house and went back clown to the office, for he was too proud to go to the club and let others see that married life was not all a bed of roses, as he had pictured it.

Somebody has to take the first step toward a reconciliation. Who should it be?

The most important thing about a quarrel is the making-up afterwards. The sooner that can be brought about, of course, the better.

Let not any two young people think, in the stubbornness of their pride, that they can come together at their next time of meeting and ignore what has just taken place. They sometimes try to meet on the basis of cold formality, and some of them may succeed in putting it over, but it is a most disastrous procedure. The quarrel, which, if properly gone over together, might have drawn them into closer harmony and a better under-standing of each other, remains a sore spot in the heart of each; the poisonous sting of the heart-less words spoken in the heat of the controversy continues to do its deadly work. They have laid the first stone of a barrier which some day will be found to separate them irrevocably.

It is always hard to take the first step toward a reconciliation, but the two young people should know that the one who is able to take the first step has the advantage. It makes no difference which one was the most to blame in the beginning. Tacitly to admit your share of the blame by saying, "Will you forgive me," is to call forth an overflowing love which is the sweetest possible recompense for the effort which may be involved.

Individual differences are of very little consequence. The great eternal fact of a true and sincere love can be made to drown them all.

The serious differences arise when one or the other nurses a grievance for a long time without giving expression to it. There is a feeling in the atmosphere which indicates that things are not as they should be, and yet nothing is apparent on the surface. There seems to be a cloud hanging over the home. An occasional grouchy remark may be explained away on the basis of business worries, whereas in reality it is the expression of a hidden grievance. This is a serious condition and especially trying for the one who has no definite knowledge of it, and yet suffers from its presence. This brooding over a fancied wrong is the product of an unfortunate disposition which lacks confidence in another's love and sincerity, and it is this lack of faith which makes the life of the two together so difficult. Many times the innocent victim of this brooding disposition is obliged to provoke a quarrel in order to find out what the real trouble is. After the explanation, the air is cleared for the time being, and happiness reigns. But, in time, the poison again shows itself.

The person who is afflicted with this sort of a disposition should make every possible effort to overcome it, and should enlist the heartfelt and understanding co-operation of the other member of the life partnership. Such an individual should never allow the least little incident that causes the slightest feeling of unhappiness to lodge in the mind and remain there unexplained. Every such little matter should be taken at once to the wife or husband, as the case may be, with the words, "I'm sure you don't mean anything, but such and such a thing has hurt me. Won't you explain just how you meant it?" The free and frank discussion which will follow will serve to bind the two into a close harmony of mutual confidence and trust, and little by little the unfortunate tendency may be overcome.

One way to avoid quarrels is for husband and wife to learn when not to speak upon troublesome or trying matters. If the husband is going through a business crisis, the wife who is wise will put her personal preferences out of sight for the time being, and bring to him as little of the annoying details of daily life as possible. On the other hand, husbands should also remember that there are periods when the wife is not entirely herself. There comes a period each month when she is more or less under the weather and inclined to feel a little cross and irritable, and especially unduly sensitive. This is the time for the husband to give full expression to his love and appreciation, reserving all words of criticism for a time when she is more strong in spirit to receive them. Pregnancy is another period during which the husband will need to exercise unusual consideration. On the other hand, the wife should not feel during pregnancy that she has a right to give full and unrestrained expression to her disagreeable feelings. She must remember that the little new life needs a harmonious atmosphere in which to develop.

Above all, neither one should attempt to domineer over the other. Each should look upon the other as a human being who has human rights to be observed and regarded. Neither one of the two is expected, in this day and generation, absolutely to give up his or her individuality on entering into the married state. Life will be much richer and more satisfactory with two distinct individualities which have learned to adapt them-selves to each other, than where one has become a washed-out replica of the dominant personality.

Quarreling is too serious a thing for young people ever to indulge in it as a pastime, In the first excess of devotion they are in danger of thinking it sometimes amusing to pretend to be hurt over some little occurrence. It is, in the first place, merely pretense, but, before they know it, simply assuming the air of an aggrieved individual eventually brings the feeling itself into existence. Or, it may be, the two start "knocking each other," as the slang phrase goes, purely in fun, and before they know it find themselves in a truly acrimonious exchange of uncomplimentary phrases.

Love is too precious a thing ever to be treated in any other way than the most reverential. While humor is a great essential to success in life; and especially in married life, it must be humor of the right sort.

2008-09-24T13:45:00.002+08:00

i am just so not well-liked or is it they are so unfriendly.
i thought i am part of ur grp, but i just realise is all i one-sided thinking. nobody accepted me there, yet i extra go always. All I thought was wrong.

I cried, I duno why. Just duno why my tears like my face so much, likes to falls out from my eye down to my face. Why?

2008-09-22T12:35:00.002+08:00

Just some updates on what happened these days...
Took 2 days AL on wed & thurs. Great enjoyment with dear ;)
We went to places like snow city, s'pore flyer (daytime), DHL balloon but unable to go up cuz of the windy weather, Tiger Live@St.James, cable car, Skyride & luge, 4D-matrix. On thurs, went to escape theme park & wild wild wet, but didn't manage to go in when we reached. Cuz escape theme park only opens on weekends, and wild wild wet is under maintenance. Quite disappointing & sad, so went to mac to eat icecream 1st. After tat, went back to BB to swim n relax. At nite went to s'pore flyer with dear n KK, WL,ZM.

On sat midnite, went to pohying's bdae celebration @kbox.
I falled down.
I am now in pain. Hais!

2008-09-15T17:14:00.000+08:00

I have been thinking whether & how to celebrate my 21st ...
Kept thinking of the different groups of friends I want to celebrate with...but if I were to choose which group is the closest to me... i find difficulties ...
I am wondering ... everyone has their own groups now already..but i still trying to cling on to the past groups, it's seems impossible. really.

2008-09-01T12:35:00.002+08:00

Happy birthday to Geokhwa once again which falls on 31st Aug!
Happy birthday to Grandpa & Meng Tuck which both falls on 2nd Sept!

Not able to attend hwa's bdae celebration on sat nite, cuz need to attend grandpa bdae celebration @Grand Park Royal hotel. sorry hwa. :)
The hotel food was so-so. Not really a lot of variety. And it cost exp!I still prefer Royal Plaza @ orchard there. :)

Sun nite which was yest, went to celebrate Meng Tuck bdae @ orchard seoul garden.
Argh, not good, too much smoke & stuffs... Actually I didn't eat a lot also lo, cuz in the beginning so many people cook n I eat little only, so after they eat I start to cook what I wants to eat lo, but let people thought I ate plenty. Nvm lo. haha.

N the smoky stuffs makes my eyes tired. Till now I am tired. LOLS.

Very concidence thing was my grandpa & Meng Tuck bdae falls on the same day lo. And we have the same surname haha. ;)

On sun morning, cried la. Only dear understands me on this part. I am a very emotional person okay. I always put on a face that I don't mind get saying by people, but it does not mean deep in my heart I can take it. I don't really like the idea of people talking on personal thingy when they have no topics to talk and making fun of personal thingy when no topics to talk.

I am really sleepy today.
I miss dear dear.

2008-08-19T12:33:00.001+08:00

It's been so long since I last blogged. It's simply due to my laziness + tiredness.
haha.

I wanted to blog about dear bringing me to the high school musical concert on 5th Aug as a surprise for our anniversary. I am really happy,and dear brought the front row! I am so happy but dear spent alot for that.

Finally all major audits are over!
but more things coming up to be followed!

too long never blog le... too many updates duno start from where?
lols.
Dun feel like recalling now as I am really very sleepy!
yest is company off day. So I spent my holiday alone.
Haha
Went for 2 services , hair & nails.
total spent : $ 100
I am so disappointed, I get soft-hearted when people persuade me to buy this buy that, like I really so easy to cheat lo, cuz I feel bad. I have to learn!!

Now I am in my office, so cold today.
Raining outside and I stayed in the office whole morning, going to be freeze!
;(

2008-08-04T22:04:00.005+08:00

So much thoughts, yet hard to say . But I decided to say it out and say all my happy things and spilled out the unpleasant things.

Happy birthday dear darling!

On sat ard 3 plus, went to east coast park with my dear n his frens. Had a very different gathering with them for celebration of dear's bdae. Thanks KK bro, to organize and coordinate to meet up the rest with us. Of cuz thanks to the presence of everyone that day.=)

We went to east coast park to cycle together. It's fun, everyone's butt is painful LOLS.
Though it's just cycling at east coast park, but it's really different from other bdae celebration. I enjoyed and my dear dear enjoyed too.

After that, went to hong kong cafe there have dinner.
I had a plan to go to one twenty six since last night, and actually booked a place for 10 pp there at 9pm for the sat nite chill out after dinner. But didn't make it on time and hence no seatings reserved for us. Well, it's cuz everyone couldn't make a decision, though dear got point out for chilll out, but....can see they wanted to watch movie more. so... hmmm... it's okay anyway. As long as all are happy, my dear is happy.

So we ended up at KFC after walking a very long distance. And the worst thing is, we have to walk back the long distance to get our car back home.

And here comes the 1st surprise I planned for my dear.
I told ZM n KK before that I wish they could help me a small small favor...which is get a card and let everyone that are present to write a small note for my dear. Yea, it's just a birthday card. BUT, a small thing done with everyone's heart, it's a very big thing. It did surprised dear, and he is very happy. I know that they never written a bdae card to him b4 like tat, so wish that this small favor from his frens can make my dear to be happy. It's really happy to see my dear's happy face, like your best buddies write notes on a card, you can always cherish n keep it and see it whenever you want. =)

After that, brought dear to a secret place. I will keep this as a secret btw me n him=)
But we met some unpleasant stuffs, witness people fighting. Hais, I am so scare and so do my dreams came after the unpleasant happens.
But anyway I gave my dear the surprise present --> scrapbook cum photoalbum. It's a DIY scrapbooks with our photos and designed all my myself=)

On sun morning, went to eat the original beancurd with dear dear.
Then, brought dear to holland V. Here comes my 2nd surprise. Brought him to 211 roottop cafe at holland V. It's a very nice ambience place, but it will be nicer in the nite e time. Bringing him to the cafe is part of the surprise. The next surprise is also simple and also being spoilt by the people there. I actually booked the restaurant 2 days ago, and requested if they could let me order a slice of cake on phone and be served after my dining on sun so I could give my dear a surprise. But they say can't and say I could say wait to my dear and go in and order in the counter.but it's like my dear know my pattern, I won't like walk away like tat de lo. Hais.

So I tried my luck that day jus 10 mins before going to the cafe, while dear is still in the toilet, I quickly call the cafe again and requested for a slice of cake later. AND they still don't allow. NVM.

So we went in to the cafe, and I told dear I go toilet. So I went to order the slice of cake and asked them to served with 1 candle and also after our dining.

So when we finished our main course, the staff walked towards us and say can I serve you the cake now?!! Hais, no more surprise. He knew it. It's like hais... I know I could have walk in to inform them to serve the cake in 5 mins time or wat...but it's like if I do that, my dear will know I am preparing him a surprise la. He know my pattern de lo.

Den nvm, the cake came n it's not lighted. And I have to ask if they could provide a lighter to light the cake up?! LIKE so stupid.

nvm, so the cake got lighted up and I sang my dear a birthday song.

After tat, dear send me home to bathe and we headed back to his house. I booked an restaurant at bukit timah, to ask his family to have a bdae dinner with dear. I want dear to feel happn
After tat, some chatting and they wanted to go their Ah Yi place to get computer. Here comes another unpleasant thingy. I waited outside their Ah Yi place for like 45mins alone. Yet no one cares, I know dear care. But he no choice. He have done his best to try to get out of the place asap le. Well, don't wish to go into more detail abt why. But I am scare of the dog tat's why didn't go into the Ah Yi house in the 1st place.

That's abt it. Happy birthday dear hubby!
Hope that you are really happy with every single thing.
I love you.

Just want to update abt my working stuffs. Well, it really seems like everyday, every end of my day of work, I will have things to complain to my dear. Poor dear... Hais.
But it's really irritating and pissed off. AND especially pissed off when you not only criterize/trying to be control on working stuffs only. But also on my personnal things and activities. I hate it. Well, I am just ladies collagues abt wat we did in the weekend. And complaining abt the bad service I experienced on sun noon at the 211 cafe, of how the staffs spoilt my surprise. And you know what this another collegue commented? He say " HUH, just a slice of cake can surprise pp? WHERE can surrprise pp with a slice of cake. THE way he SPEAKS, and attitude sucks to hell and you will be pissed off ok.Then say wat, can buy a big cake den is surprise... den I say jus 2 person eat, 1 slice is good enough, he say can packet home wat....WTH. like do you know romantic? and do you know how to appreciate small little things pp do ? Den I was saying the food was quite expensive, cost going to $80. den he say, $80 only wat, considered cheap le wat. WTH la. when you see the food prices in restaurant in newspaper you say wat so exp...den now u say cheap...I really cannot tahan.
That's why I am so quiet

I agree with someone whom told me that workin life there are so many factors that leads a working life to be happy and great. If you found a job with great interest you have in, but you have sickening colleagues then it's not happy too. If you found a job with great colleagues bunt you don't have interest with the job type den you wont be happy too. There's other factors too.... So yea, it's hard to find a wonderful job. And yea, it's hard to be get a wonderful thing.

alot people told me have to think what i really want in my life. But we know that not what we want we can get to do. I want to sing for my life and live a life my dear. Can I? I can, but I can't earn $$ with singing in my life because ......

Anyway I shall stop here.

I will upload photos soon!

Happy birthday dear dear once again!!!

2008-08-01T23:27:00.000+08:00

Afterall,
I still don't understand myself.

yeah. why i like tat huh

2008-08-01T23:24:00.002+08:00

What's wrong with me...
yeah, what's wrong with me huh?!
hais.

Freak out of myself.

2008-07-31T09:50:00.000+08:00

Disappointed.
disappointed.....

.....

that's all

2008-07-07T14:38:00.000+08:00

I don't know what happen these few days.
But I can't smile like I always do,
I am not sad or depressed ... Nothing is bothering me.
But inside my body like hormones changing? aiya I don't know also.
But just like no strength to bring up my cheerful face to face people.
I am not sian, or cold towards anyone .

2008-07-03T16:31:00.002+08:00

I really wish to get my license soon.
I really want to get a car soon when I have my license.
I really hate to squeeze with people in public transport.
Yes, now owning a car is very hard.
But I will be willing to save up for the sake of being squeezed like a sandwich by those hell people.

2008-07-01T15:08:00.001+08:00

I have been thinking since last yr how to celebrate my 21st.
felt so sian, till now still have no idea how to celebrate.
Yes, because I expect to have a different celebration as others.
I wish. but couldn't think of any.

I have all my good friends to attend my 21st.A big gathering.
I know chalet will be good, house cater bufet will be good for big gathering.
But i wish for something more special.

Got thought of poolside party @ condo, or club house pool side party or function hall, but timing duno till wat time.
chalet will be good to stay up late.

There's something I hope to have on my birthday party itself, a photographer! haha!

2008-06-26T09:24:00.002+08:00

I miss you so much.

I am really touched by what you did for me. How much you strive more me. I really appreciate. Hope that the misunderstanding won't cause a barrier towards you treating me good like always, I really sorry.

I miss you dearly.

2008-06-22T21:51:00.001+08:00

i understand . I understood

2008-06-13T09:06:00.004+08:00

Hey gal...

I think that I have already given up on you.
I am trying myself, controlling myself not to have the urge to talk to you when I saw you online now.
I think that I am really disappointed in you.
I don't see any small effort you put in for our friendship at all.
I don't see you calling me , msging me, or msn me at any time since the past school days.
You never ever took the initiative. Why is it so? The reason is simple.

从以前到如今你都是这样。

I am tired. I am freak out by all the words you say and don't mean it.

I don't think you will ever see this blog. Because I don't think you will bother to see it.

I am really trying so hard to forget how you say you treasure our friendship btw us, but I don't see any action at all.
What are true friends?
-True friends shares laughters, happiness, joy, tears and cries. I don't share any with you at all.

I have been hoping for so long, puting so much hope on our friendship, believing that it's true that you are so busy to fork out time to meet up, to msg me, to call me or even drop a note to me.
Everyone tells me it's pointlesss to have this kind of friend la, don't be so miserable cuz of her.

relationship need two hands to clap, two parties to make it beautiful.
So do a friendship. -It requires 2 hands to clap, to hold on to the beautiful friendship. But I am the one holding on always, yet I don't see you doing anything.

The most terrible thing I felt and disappointed in you is, why you can't make an initiative to contact me. NEVER will you. ' It's just a 'Why, WHY, why in my mind'. When I thought of this, I will think is it your pride so big, or what reasons make you this way. Don't give me reasons like , ' oh too long never contact, if msg you or ask you out very funny. NO SUCH reasons okay. If you really think that way, then in the first place why drag till so long... ITS all just an EXCUSE.!

I have to make one of the toughest decisions... should I give up or hang on?

When I need you, you ain't here.
I thought you say we are best friend.
But I don't think we are even casual friend...

2008-06-12T17:21:00.000+08:00

We live to…

When you are a baby, you need milk to survive.

When you are a child, you need lots of care and love from your families especially parents.

When you are a teenage, you need to have friends. And you need to strive hard for studies in order to earn money in future with good job to survive.

When you are adult, you need to work for money to survive. And you need to work for money to have a family of your own and for leisure and expenses.

When you are older adult, you earn money to feed your child and family.

When you are much older, you survive through your past earnings and support of your children if they are thoughtful.

Well, that’s like a routine.

Of course, in between this routine, there are many interesting happenings around.

In life, we get to fall in love with our special ones. We get to have the romance, and show our care and love for each other. We plan for our future, we live for each other. We support each other.

We have our true friends whom care and concern about you. We share our laughter’s and sadness.

We know what kinship is like; we learnt to treasure each other.

But something we can’t deny is everyone has to part this world.

That’s life. And we can’t do anything to stop our love ones to leave us when we don’t wish to.

Sometimes when I am so happy and contended with my life, with the people around me. And I thought of one day they might leave me, or one day I might leave them. It saddens me. I know it’s stupid to go think this type of thing. But we don’t wish and don’t want great things to stop and end. We wish it is forever.

2008-06-09T12:26:00.003+08:00

I feel so happy and blessed to have you by my side in the past, now, in future.

A few occasion have past by the weeks, and days.

On sunday 1st June, went for the bbq session at parc oasis. It was meant for our secondary mates to gather before the guys enters army life. Well, it's part of life. haha

Enjoyed so much fun and catch up moments with them.
Pictures will be uploaded in the next post.=)

On thursday 5th June, it was me n dear's 9th month anniversary together. It's so fast yet so slow. I want to be everlasting long with you . MUACKS.
- This time round I suggested to bring him to 2 places. hehe.
Went to beach culture at pasir ris park. It's a very romantic place. ^^
ate the cheese fondue which I yearn to try ever since the 98.7 DJ recommendation. Well, it's not bad, a new food to try. BUT, it's damn exp. it cost $38 plus. and the taste was quite weird, as it tasted bitter, due to the wine as part of the ingredient.

I love the ambiance there! It cost us $80 plus if I am not wrong.

After that, we went to east coast park- 1 twenty six. It's also very nice place. ^^

On Friday 6th June, met up with dear's friends- MT, CC, KK, ZM.
we just met up at tahman jurong S-11. It's freaking scary there. cuz there is so many cats. =(

On saturday 7th June, in the noon, went to queensway coffeeshop to eat bak ku teh. Freaking scary too, cuz got cat.
Hais, stuck with nightmares.

In the later part of the noon, went to dear's friend baby 1st month. Stayed there till nite time. Saw one of my sec senior friend. So qiao.

On Sunday 8th June, in the noon, dear brought me to bugis eat fish soup noodle. It's a great place to dine in. The food is really worth. The original without additional milk added. I forgot the name of the shop, but it's near the top one ktv.
After that, went to shopping. Wanted to buy some stuffs since last week, but GSS doesn't provide me with anything I like. Not worth the price with the product they sale.

Last week at far-east , brought a shoes, really high shoe, @ $27 I think. But it's nice.
Yesterday brought 1 shaw, 1 bag, 1 white shorts.

In e evening, went to the laska steamboat. near @ telok Blangah road. Heard it was nice, but never been there before. So we went and try finally. Well, we suppose that steamboat is like buffet, e.g. $15 den you can take free flow of food ....bla bla....so we assumed and didn't ask . Then, when the menu is here, the person say its individually charged! meaning e.g. you order 1 hotdog, it cost $3, den veg $3.... WTH. SO ExPENSIVE!!!

this teaches us a lesson. DON'T assume!!!!

2008-06-08T00:44:00.003+08:00

I am so useless. I know you don't like me to say myself useless. But I really was a ... It's just a animal. yet i am so scare of it. I am such a timid, I am really sorry. When I see it, I just shiver and I can't bring myself to move forward. I am sorry. It;s not that I dun trust you, but it's really 2 different matter. Sorry I hope that I am easier to hong as well...

2008-05-27T09:47:00.001+08:00

9 Things to Remember When Your Feelings Get Hurt

If you were a sensitive child chances are you are now a sensitive adult. Everyday events may affect you differently than someone who is less sensitive. Other people do not understand this many times and will tell you that you are just being "too sensitive". How we feel each day can have a powerful effect on our self-esteem. Maybe they are just being "too insensitive". To effectively cope in our world you must remember these things:

Remember that what people say to you or about you is really about them and has nothing to do with you
If someone says something to you that hurts your feelings tell them that you did not like how they spoke to you
See if sometimes you are misunderstanding what someone else says to you
Realize that many people talk just to have something to do and don’t even know they are being insensitive
Stay away from people who have been hurtful to you in the past
Spend time building you your self-esteem
Focus on your own interests and beliefs and do not become involved with other people’s opinions
Celebrate the fact that you are sensitive. You are most likely also a very creative person.
Look for other people who are also sensitive and form friendships and alliances with them. They will understand how you feel and be better friends to you in the long run

Many people will tell you that you are being too thin-skinned and should just let insensitive comments roll off you “like water off a duck’s back”. But only you know how you feel and you will feel better if you acknowledge your emotions and feelings. We all have an emotional guidance system that lets us know at every moment how we are feeling. Look for situations where you feel good and avoid those that make you feel bad. You are a special, unique being that deserves to feel joy and happiness as much of the time as you possibly can.

2008-05-26T10:24:00.003+08:00

On friday nite, went to rent the chinese taiwanese series show- Dou niu yao bu yao.
The show I yearned to watch when I saw it on ad. But it's damn exp to buy it, and I always watch show only once. I don't re-watch the shows I watched before. So it's really wasted to buy when it's exp.

Watched with dear dear till 3am plus.. cannot tahan went to sleep first.

We actually planned to watch it on sat morning n noon too. But noon time end up went shopping with my mum. Dear came along too, cuz dinner time going to ah-ma's place to celebrate my ah-ma's 85th bdae. went home ard 10 plus. continued to watch the series show @my place.

On sun, noon time continued to watch the show. But still can't finish watching. err, too tired and lazy. Then, went to westmall swensen's with dear. I ordered a main dish, but the waiter gave wrongly. Then,next moment he gave us a soup for the day, for complimentary. I wonder isit because my face so fierce that he ownself give us the complimentary before we want to complain? or it's the service so good that they auto give complimentary when they do wrong thing? haha...

At nite, went to my relative wedding.
Okay, it's Fullerton hotel. Everyone's says its a exp hotel. Cuz one table $1000 like tat. And it's 6 -star hotel. So you must be expecting something real great n special right.

Went in, it's a tall building, the ceiling is high. Then, the ballroom is at downstairs. Went to the cocktail session which starts at 7pm. And it's written that 730pm you can go into the ballroom to sit n wait . Usually 7plus u can go into the ballroom to sit, though we noe chinese dinner dun start early. But at least we will be sitting down to wait to start. But yest 8pm,den we are invited in to sit. Tat's bad, everyone squeeze outside and standing to wait to go in. Then, went in to the ballroom. Okay, it's really small. The food served was yucky. BAD. NO standard. I went to so many wedding before, and this is the most bad one. It's not like 6-star. It's the name that is exp. Alot of branded stuffs are like tat too.

The worst thing is ... The first dish they brought to our table, they told us, we will divide into small plates for you all. The center of the table is placed with flowers. It's not that it's wrong, but if you want served the dish individually , then do it in the kitchen lo. The serving is so small, it's so uneasy that we can't take ourselves. I went before to a wedding that is served individually, but it's nicely done and brought out nicely, presentable.

And the MC for the day is bad too.

Everything ended ard 11pm. waited for dear to send us back home. So sweet of him.

Photos will be uploaded soon.

LOvinG , tReAsuRing, CherIshIng You always

2008-05-16T13:53:00.001+08:00

Jasmine in Japanese Character.
It is pronounced "JAZUMIN"

My manager saw it and told me there is Jasmine in Japanese character. And he edited for me. This is the new one. BELOW.
ジャスミン

2008-05-15T12:53:00.002+08:00

Yes. i must really learn from that.

It's too late to apologize
It's too late to regret

I know sometimes we know it is wrong to do this or to do that. But things don't go our way. In times, we tends to make the wrong move even knowing it's wrong. That's human.

BUT...

it's never too late to LEARN!
and
it's never too late to KEEP LEARNING!!!

2008-05-15T09:00:00.003+08:00

I read a website and I came along this article which I think it's quite worth to read about...

It's true that there's no direct, complete definition of love that satisfies everyone. It is not something that can be measured or directly put into words. It is too deep and complex a feeling to describe. However, whenever it manifests itself physically, love is often recognizable. All it takes is a careful eye to know if what you're feeling is true love or not.

If it's true love, it involves respect. You claim no sense of "ownership" of the other person. You do not own his or her time, mind, heart, and not even their things. If you are given these things, be glad and be thankful, but under no circumstances are you to assume that you can make decisions for the other person. Do not be offended if your lover has opinions different from your own. Respect your lover's privacy and individuality.

Loving is being open to change. People are dynamic - their personalities and interests constantly change. Sometimes, this change happens slowly, and sometimes it happens in a blink of an eye. Whatever the change is, and however long it takes, you have to accept it. Even if it means accepting that your lover no longer loves you.

True love can stand the test of time. Being with someone for a long period of time allows you to go through different emotions and periods with that person. If your heart has the strength to weather through these different experiences with your lover, then both you and the relationship will grow stronger.

Love isn't about winning. Sometimes, you have to let go of a fight. Whenever you "win" a fight with your lover, you don't actually win. Nobody wins. Love is about a partnership, not a contest of egos. Whenever you feel a fight coming, you have to weigh the consequences and ask yourself "Is this really important?"

Love doesn't mean that your lover has the responsibility to keep you happy and vice versa. The only person who has the responsibility to make you happy is yourself. While you and your lover can make each other "happier", you shouldn't be solely dependent on each other for happiness. The couples who end up being happy together are made up of individuals who were happy to begin with. Keeping yourself happy is a hard enough responsibility, don't make it harder for yourself by letting another person's happiness be your responsibility too.

Loving isn't about restricting the other's freedom. There's no reason for you to call your lover every five minutes to check if they're okay. There's also no reason for you to be selective about which friends he or she can go out with. If you're in an exclusive relationship, then the rules of the game dictate that you can only be intimate with your lover. However, this doesn't mean that you'll be the only person that he or she can come in contact with. Keep in mind that when people are caged, they will almost always try to break free.

2008-05-12T11:59:00.001+08:00

Weekend’s celebration

10^th May(SAT): Dear’s cousin wedding

11^th May(SUN): Mother’s day

16^th May(FRI): Meet up with FYP mates

17^th May(SAT): -Nil-

18^th May(SUN): Mummy’s Birthday

24^th May(SAT): Grandma’s Birthday

25^th May(SUN): My cousin’s wedding

15^th June(SUN): Father’s day

29^th June(SUN): Dad’s Birthday

2008-05-11T23:32:00.005+08:00

It's been so long since I blog pictures..so ya I edited and collage them. So enjoy viewing=)

2008-05-11T23:22:00.004+08:00

2008-05-11T21:52:00.002+08:00

Yesterday noon went to dear's cousin wedding.

I know it's too late to say sorry alway.
It's too late to apologize

But I promised that the change to make, I am really willing to do it. FUlly, Truely, From my bottom of my heart n mind. Change for my good, for our own good, for own future. It's not a bad thing or hard thing to do. Thank you to have confidence in me, n believing me. I LOVE YOU.

Treasure and cherish you more and more.

2008-05-04T12:41:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday to Alex Lee Zong Xun!

It's been so long since I blogged about you.
It's not that I have forgotten you this friend.

How are you my friend ?
How is it like in heaven? Everyone wonders.
Hope that you are living to the fullest in the other world.

Do you still remember everyone of our friends and families?
=)

20.10.06 till now... OMG... it's like so long already. Times passes by so quickly, till that I can't feel that you really leave us.

Just wanna wish you a happy 21st bdae !

2008-04-28T18:26:00.003+08:00

I thought it would be a great weekend. I hesitated whether to blog what happened in last weekend that caused unhappiness.

While I am typing right now, I am still hesitating. I wanted to blog it out to relive the unhappiness and anger. But does it really help? If they see this blog what will happen? No matter what I do, i guess nothing can change them. So I hesitated.

On last week days' I have already confirmed to meet up with the group of gals that we lost to meet up since graduated. Everyone agreeded, but still disappointing stuffs happens. I know there's reasons like sorry I have something on, but come on... So you trying to imply that your something on is much more important than our meet up?If it's like someone passed away, or someone in ur family member bdae, or wedding... then I can understand..But now it's I dun understand what its something on that is so important than our gathering... it's not like we always meet up, if we does always meet up, then u have something on , it's still okay. But it's like such a long time since we gonna catch up finally. N u give me this type of aeroplane I get. Totally spoilt mood. I am not trying to say your something on is not important either, but do you bother to share and explain? Maybe it's really confidential that you don't wish to tell me, but isn't it a better idea to call or msg me telling me it's about what? Or trying to explain to let me understand? If you really treasure than why is all this happening? We took initiative once and many once, but when did you guys took any initiative or even better to say, when we took initiative, did you guys try to show that you guys really keen?

I guess my bdae wish for 21st bdae will never come through.

Though it's really so spoilt mood, but at least the 4 of us did enjoyed our great jap. dinner. Without you guys, we still can enjoy, just like how 2 of u enjoys always.

On friday nite, went to dinner at westmall with dear, followed by arcade a while, then play pool @ my house club there. Then around 12 midnite went to find dear's fren, CC,KK my kor. Talk and see them study at Mac@ farrer park.

On sat, noon went to suntec with dear's parents to see stuffs. Then, went to meet up with dear's frens to watch Man U vs Chelsea @ clark Quay. Chelsea won! After that, went to little india there to eat dim sum. Lots of food, but i only ate PAU. sad case.
Then, went to MOS with dear.

Sunday, thought it would be a great great wonderful fruitful day. BUT.... U know...u know...WTH
It's so sad.

Ya many people told me it's pointless to be sad and angry over such people anymore, because no matter how much I treasure, they dun, dun bother, den what can I do rite..But why am i so agiated,it;s because I MISS them. Hais...even my mum told me dun be stupid to believe them.

2008-04-02T14:46:00.001+08:00

Does over caring or over loving a person create problems?

In a way yes and no. you can always over love someone in your mind and heart but if that person doesn’t love you as much as you do then you’re going to find yourself very emotionally hurt when it over.

If your over caring for someone and over loving someone by showing it you’re going to creep that person out but it depends on what your definition of "over" is. It might create problems in terms of creeping the person out and making them want to be not with you too much.

People need their space their own time no one likes to be smothered all the time.

Yes...I understood it

2008-04-02T14:03:00.000+08:00

I am sorry

I know it's my problem

I know what to do next.

Don't worry about me

Sorry to make u have those thinking about me

2008-03-29T21:52:00.002+08:00

There's so many people I wanna meet up and catch up with....

I don't mind if it's a short or long meet up...I just misses them...

I miss everyone that bypass my life. Every fren of mine, I treasure.

Sometimes it's quite hard to meet up with people. As I know I want too much. I can't expect what I want to be what others want too. Yes, I want to meet up and catch up with so many people always. But it can't be always. They have their own life,own frens,own hobbies. So do I. So what I hope is to meet up with them once a while, least to catch up and update each other live's and not to forget and let go each other friendship due to long lost contact.

My wish,my Hope. I really hope so....

2008-03-28T16:12:00.003+08:00

Everything happens so quickly...

Life is like this,
The stages of life.

we miss everything we bypass of,
we hope that time passes by in times,
and we hope that time will stop and goes back to the past

It's always so contradicting.

There are two kinds of failures: those who thought and never did, and those who did and never thought.

Difference

There is a part of me
That feels I am different from everyone else.
Something that I can't quite see,
Something that I can't quite feel,
Something so unreal.
But this 'thing' is always there,
This 'thing' with others, I will never share.
So I push it to the back of my mind,

Sometimes, when I have almost forgotten,
It comes back with such ferocity,
Angry and unforgiving.
I feel so lost and sad,
Whatever caused this feeling
Must have been so horrible and bad.
A lost memory or something else,
I'll never know,
Whatever it is,
I know for sure,
I can never let this feeling show.

I came across these few quotes below, and it really mean alot.

"Love is not about finding the right person, but creating a right relationship. It's not about how much love you have in the beginning but how much love you build till the end."

We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.

Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop to look once in awhile, you could miss it.

Tired of disappointment...

2008-03-21T15:52:00.002+08:00

I am diagnosed with chicken pox...

Went to see doctor yest... It costs me $165.

Terribly not welll...vomit, itchy,headache,fever...everywhere's pain

I need you!

It's so so xin ku...

2008-03-20T13:31:00.002+08:00

It's been so long since I blogged...

Yup, I have been working in Hoya Medical as a QA(Quality Assurance Engineer).

Still adapting the environment there, as in the people around you in workplace.

Yesterday and today was really a terrible day for me... I went to see a doctor on tues nite, and I was diagnosed to have Sinusitis..its not the normal kind of common flu...I was given 8 different medicines... And the doctor asked me how days of MC do I need? He say I can give you any amount of days for you to recover...

2008-01-31T14:32:00.000+08:00

It's been very long since I blogged!

I know....haha

But was really busy .... Finally exams are over...finally FYP over...finally....

GRADUATE!

hope that I can pass with flying color! haha

Just to update readers if there are any...

Thursday', today, is my graduation day! though not offically but I completed my diploma! Will be getting the certificate on march i guess...

N tomorrow, friday...will be my first day in work as a quality engineer in Hoya Medical!

Hope everything goes smoothly and well!

2008-01-11T11:28:00.001+08:00

I had a dream.

Bad dream

I hate to dream those things. All the things are lingering around me, my mind
I dreamt that you listen to your sis, leaving me alone.

I ran around looking for you, yet you just leave me alone.
-no longer care for me
-no longer worried over me

When I wake up, the first thing in my mind was you.
I called you, you call me laopo, I am damn happy. Relieved that a dream is just a dream.
With you console after I told you the dream, I felt better, You promised it won't ever happen.

No quarrels pls, quarrels makes me thinks alot n worried alot.

I don't know what's wrong with me.
It had been some time whereby I think of something, and I will really dream of it!

really don't like the feeling, because only think of negative things, the dream will comes.
If think of positive things, the dream hardly comes about.

Pictures

2008-01-08T15:52:00.001+08:00

2008-01-07T22:46:00.001+08:00

Happy 4th mth Anniversary @050108

Had a wonderful day on sat 050108, in the nooon me n dear send his sis to work. Then, we headed to tiong bahru , to LaoBeijing for our lunch cum dinner! 3 to 5 pm buffet! it's nice. I love it.

Then, we went to kallang entertainment centre. Hard time finding our way there. Went there was such a disappointment, luckily got car, if not more chiam.

Then, dear brought me to TCC . The TCC there was very different. Very nice.

After that, was the surprise he gave me. He brought me to a very romantic place. Mt faber, Altivo! My first time there. dear is always so nice, giving me surprises. I love you

I love you my dear.

Will upload pictures soon!~

2008-01-02T22:57:00.000+08:00

It's been quite long since I update on my blog on how I have been....

Lets start with ,

Happy new yr to everyone!

I have spent my 3rd month anniversary last dec with dear, went to bugis for dinner at a hk cafe. Then, he brought me to secret garden, very romantic place. I love it so much.

I have spent my christmas eve with dear, in the noon went to shop around with dear and brought him some nice stuffs, while he brought me a surprise pillow. I love it.
Then, went to buy ingredients, and i cooked spaghetti and nobaked cheese cake for him.
After that, around 10 plus, we met up together with Mingde, Weilun, chengchong,zhong ming, yongqiang, n KK kor, we went to somewhere named dempsey hill... i think? anyway, a very nice place. I am so happy. Got to go to so so many nice places with dear and them. really felt like a big warmth family together with all their presence. It's hard to go there, luckily got car. haha.
So we went there to chill out, and also together with 4 other of their frens, so there it goes our countdown 3,2,1, to christmas day! =)

On christmas day, dear went to my grandpa house for gathering with all the cousins. This yr christmas was bit lonely, because all the adults went to taiwan for holiday trip n celebration.

On 29dec, went to dear's chalet. ENJOYED! very enjoyable, as it was with the bunch of guys and of cuz my dear dear too. Though I am the only gal, but I am not left out ok. I could feel that I am present there. Haha. We swim together. BBq . Play '007 bang' together. drink together. eat together. Sleep together, but i nv slp. hahaha...cuz orchestra too nice. haha! It was a fun day, seeing KK kor lose so much n drank alot,till he dun wan play tat game le! haha

On new yr eve, went to boon lay place for countdown with shuhui, pohying, huishan and my dear! the fireworks was okay okay only. haha. Then, after tat we headed down to find zhong ming, weilun, mingde and KK kor for movie, watched AVP2. Then, went to early breakfast at 5am with dear driving me and weilun at westcoasst mac.
YUMMY food for the 1st day of 2008!

On 1st jan of 2008. Was KayBoon leaving spore to Beijing. Wish him all the best.

In this new yr of 2008. wish for new hopes. Wish that I could graduate smoothly, get a good job and study Uni. Hope that my pain in my chest get away, and gastric as well. No pain for me please.

I want me n dear to lasst long always. Love him always.
MUACKS

2007-12-27T20:37:00.000+08:00

Anything, whatever.

I don't mean anything

Just hack care me this fellow

I may not turn up that day even

Enjoy everything You guys like

2007-12-17T12:55:00.000+08:00

Is Friendship A Kind Of Game?

Was cruising along my memories and I remembered a phrase that friendship is just a game. I can’t seem to recall where I got it from but is friendship just a mere game between humans?

Interactions between human kinds are important because sometimes we need others to help us out with certain stuff in which a single person will not be able to do. But what others have in their minds we may not know because it’s not easy to read one’s mind. Furthermore, certain people feel that being a loner is best because they don’t have to worry about cumbersome thoughts or problems.

Back to the statement above, is friendship some kind of game or perhaps a mind game?

There are no concrete reason to prove this because the conclusion that we may draw from it might apply to ourselves only and not others. It’s a very subjective matter. However, I do feel that friendship is like a mind game sometimes because you tend to guess what the other party is thinking and what they actually think about you and your personality. But playing mind games are not fun at all because at the end of the day, it’s really tiring because both people will try to outwit each other with their encased mind and thoughts.

So, is friendship really a game?

To those who have suffered ominously because of friends, they will say that it’s definitely a game then again some may not agree with people with those thoughts. Why is it similar to a game?

Well, in friendship, every one has to give and take and they have to be tolerant and patience at times too. Forcing something or taking all the time without giving will not work as well. It work both ways actually. The theory applies the same towards relationships too. It’s unavoidable, the give and take attitude and also, the core of everything, respect.

Friendships are just like a game because when your friends move forward or they advance to another stage, then you should too. Why? It’s really simple because if they are willing to put more ahead of them that means they are willing to take your friendship a little higher than it was before. Plus, the more they move forward, your friendship with them will blossom with each forwarding step that you take and them as well. However, if they stopped moving forward at a certain period, you should stop moving too because that is the time when everything has been said indirectly that this relationship is only till this level. It may not go as far as you want it to be no matter how many steps you’ve put forward.

So it’s basically like a game of moving forward, backwards, and halt. It may not sound correct and illogical but this is what I feel and have in mind about friendships are just games in reality.

I would love to hear your thoughts about this matter. And is friendship just a game in reality to you?

friendship

2007-12-04T14:15:00.000+08:00

Friendship, friendship, just the perfect blendship...When other friendships have been forgot....." We might wonder today just how many friendships have been "forgot." It's not necessary to detail the reasons for this - fast paced society, miles of separation, ad infinitum. Of course, in this respect, we're thinking of old friends - what about making new ones? Do we take the time to do that, do we know how?

"To be an active participant in a conversation you must receive as well as give. Don't be so focused on your approach that you forget the goal: to get to know another person. A successful conversation, like a relationship, requires give and take--sometimes at the rigorous pace of a tennis rally and at other times as leisurely as a waltz--and you should be attuned to this pattern.
Allow your conversational partner the opportunity to respond; look for ways to draw them into the dance. Do not come on too strong: if you are overly loquacious, argumentative, or revealing, you will end up creating resistance just when you want to lower it. Worst of all, if you don't stop and let him or her respond, you might discourage your new conversational partner entirely."

Perhaps you sometimes wonder what an appropriate approach might be - you'll find advice on when to e-mail, when to telephone, when to write a note, and when to be there in person.

2007-11-19T23:40:00.000+08:00

A useless girl

I should have learnt not to be so sensitive and stubborn and easy jealous girl.

Yes, an easily jealous lady, hey, but what's wrong with it?
I fall in love so deeply, that's why I get to care so much.

I am just crazy. I shouldn't feel sad or think so much. It's life. I have to face it. I am also like that. So I have no right to say anything. I am sorry

2007-11-19T23:30:00.000+08:00

The Way Of Life

Sometimes we feel that in life we have a lot of attachments that we are attached to. This is unavoidable as things happen for a reason and our life ahead are full of unbeknownst challenges.

There are moments when we feel sad or depressed because we are facing a lot of challenges or problems in life and not everybody can take it. I don’t deny that there are burdens heaved on our shoulders. All of us have burdens. But the weight of the burdens differs from individual to another. There is only one way for us to look at it – look at things positively although that particular moment may be too negative for us. It’s easier said than done definitely but do remember that for every challenge that you’re facing; it might be a blessing in disguise.

Our lives are revolving all the time and as we move on other people move on too. We cannot stop a person from not moving on with their life as it’s not our right to do so. In life we don’t have any logical explanations for it because not everything can be proved by doing mere tests or research. For example, experiences in life cannot be proved by doing tests as we have to go through that moment ourselves. As a good friend once told me, life is like balancing accounts and it’s a marathon. Yes, I do agree with him that life is indeed a marathon. The more we walk through our pathway of life, the more we will gain and learn from our mistakes.

Have you heard anyone saying this before?

If you love someone, you have to learn how to let them go as well.

In my point of view, I feel that, that phrase is true because things will not turn out the way we want it to be sometimes. You may love the person and feel like giving him/her the best of everything but in return he/she may not love you just like the way you do. Acceptance in life is important. And letting go is vital too. Every one has to learn how to deal and accept such circumstances.

There are several things that you should know and I feel that it’s true too. I may be wrong but when you think about it carefully it’s nonetheless true.

All of us have to remember that we cannot force someone to love us vice versa. Love will be meaningless if force is imposed upon it. Also, we may feel triumphant when we manage to get the person whom we love to be beside us but actually we are not because that person’s heart may not be with you although he/she is with you physically. Do know that when someone is taking a step back from your relationship with him/her, there is no absolute point for you to hang on to it because in the end nothing will come out of it unless miracles happen. But if miracles do not happen, you will only be hurting yourself at the end of the day. True or false?

Placing and having hope is neither wrong nor impossible because we tend to seek and look for hope when any solutions could not be met. What about placing hope in a person whom you’ve learnt to love a lot but that person doesn’t seem to have the feeling about you anymore?

I’d say hope does help sometimes but it depends on the individual that we are placing our hope in as well. If they are aware of it then it may be a good sign but if they don’t then I guess it’s time for you to move on and take the hope off. It hurts I know but what can we do right?

All of us should be thankful with what we have now. Because being thankful will help a lot and we will not except more than what we have. We do expect things in life but don’t expect too much because you may feel disappointed in the end.

Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn’t learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn’t learn a little, at least we didn’t get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn’t die; so let us all be thankful

Happy bdae zhong ming

2007-11-08T21:42:00.000+08:00

031107
Happy birthday Zhong Ming!

His bdae just falls next day after mine! haha... Hope you would like the chocolate zm!

In the morning, went to acer to repair my laptop 'fan'. Now I still feel that's its noisy. Guess have to visit the acer again . hais.

Went to eat our lunch at je the market there with dad & dear. Ate Batkuteh,laksa,youtiao.
Went to Westmall to walk awhile, den accompany dear to drive his ah ma back home from temple. After that, went home to change, and went to fetch Zhong Ming to vivo city! again? okay la, this time is with dear, zhong Ming, Jeff, Weilun,cheng chong, yenhai,Derick,Ming de, KayBoon. We ate our dinner at the hong kong cafe at vivo. It's quite nice, and the chili taste alike to those malay chili . We headed to someplace near tanjong pajar to see the soccer match, Man U vs Arsenal. I watched halfway felt so sleepy, not enough sleep this days, that's why. Head was damn pain, den dear drove me around, accompanied me. Thanks dear! muacks!

Around 11pm, went back to find the rest, and we headed to Cathay for a movie , 'game plan'. It's on Zhong Ming treat.=) thanks alot !

The show was nice & funny. Like it alot.

It's nice to have such meet up. I told dear alot about friendship. I tell him don't have the mindset that your friends will pang sey you or leave you alone when you have a gf. If not you will never be happy. I believed they are not the kind. I can sense that they tries to crack jokes and try to crap around n be funny to build up the atmosphere. sometimes I know that they will be hard to start a conversion with me around, because they have to think if I will be bored if the topic is too over the guy's type and so on... But i still appreciate them joking around, making everyone laughing.

Thanks a million to everyone whom remembers my bdae & all the wishes & the gatherings & companions!

2007-11-07T17:46:00.000+08:00

Thurs & fri bdae!

2007-11-07T00:50:00.000+08:00

Thanks ShiYun for the tatty teddy bear! I love it, will treasure it=)

On thursday 011107

Thanks to my dear bestie sexy buddy, Joan! my XBB, J^square--> our new name. LOLS
She planned for my bdae, and got me a cake on thurs, 011107. Was really glad, and of course thanks to Jimmy, Hui Wen, Nurafiqah, Vanessa & Alvin. They gave me a surprise after school, sang bdae song, eat cake together. thanks alot!

After school, went to meet Zhong Ming to have our dinner. He treat me eat sakae Sushi at Westmall. Very nice of him,remembering I want to eat that... thanks alot to you my good friend! =) He is one whom is always there listening to me, really appreciate. Will treasure our friendship always^^.

It's first time that tears flow down my cheeks on my bdae. There's some misunderstanding btw me n dear, but in the end the plan followed up. Dear came to find me at 1am plus on thurs nite. Give me a slice of cake and accompanied me. Thanks dear, though before that some misunderstandings, but I am happy that you came down in the end. I LOVE YOU. muacks

promise me that you won't give me false hope. It will really make one feel very disappointed and sad when you give the person high hopes and destroy it in own hands. I believed in you my dear.

On friday 021107

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MYSELF!~

In the morning, went to market to have breakfast with my parents. My favourite Lor Mee. haha. At the noon, was supposed to meet up with Joan & go on with our plans, but somethings crop up, and not enough time. So postponed to next week. Then, I went to tiong bahru with my parents, one of the church to pray for my deceased grandma & great grandma. After that went to outram park there to visit my ah ma. Then, went shoppping with my mum at chinatown. My mum say wants to get me a perfume since I want it so much, so sweet & nice of her. MUACKS mummy. After that went to vivo city to meet dear dear. Went to asian kitchen to have our dinner & enjoy the scenery out there. Went home with dad and cut my bdae cake! woohooo, so happy like small kid! haha.

2007-11-07T00:38:00.001+08:00

Tues.gathering with sec mates

2007-10-31T11:04:00.001+08:00

Tuesday, 30 oct 07

Thanks to dexiang, hwa, shuhui, alvin, huishan, jeremy. Thanks for spending your precious time to meet up with me for a dinner cum gathering. We went to bugis, ate dinner at V8 cafe. The ambience & food was nice. After that, they brough me a slice of cake. It's tiramisu, my favourite cake! thanks shan for choosing that. Thanks for the treat & cake, greaty appreciated. Then, I fed the girls to eat the cake, so sweet right. love you guys. muacks!

Hwa, shuhui & alvin got to go for some singing lessons. So they went off after dinner. Though it's a short meet up, but I am really glad you guys willing to come down to bugis and meet up. After that, we thought of walking to esplanade and talk talk. But in the end, we went to jeremy's condo at tiong bahru there. We went to the roottop, and sat there to chit chat, seeing the view from top floor, it's really sweet to have you guys.Then, when we ate halfway, Peggy came down specially to give me a gift. She brought me a pouch & necklace for me, thanks alot girl! Then, she went off.

I treasure friendship alot, and love my sec school mates loads. I am happy that we met up, hope there will be more meet up! And of course the 7gals meet up pls! it's one of my bdae wish, don't know when will come through though. ha!

2007-10-30T14:48:00.000+08:00

ME & DEAR at MOS!!! HAlloween nite!~

2007-10-30T14:35:00.000+08:00

PHOTOS with SHIYUN!!! KBOX!

2007-10-30T14:22:00.000+08:00

PHOTOS with POHYING!!!!MOS^^

Thurs, sat

2007-10-29T12:01:00.000+08:00

Really touched by what you done. He went out with his friends, but he still think of me. When he was in ktv with friends, he called me and sang me my favourite song ' wo ke yi '. Felt so touched and happy.

On thursday, 25 oct 07.

Went to MOS with mavia & Pohying. Mavia brought 2 of his friends there as well, 1 of them is jessie , the other is their friends. Kinda bored in the start, didn't feel the punch there yet. Then, I & pohying went to walk around there, then we went to the main arena 'dance floor' , and there comes the better & fun part!^^ There was a particular malay guy with his bunch of friends keep following us in the dancefloor, and trying to dance with us, but sorry man, We are not the kind=)
Then, followed by an indian guy, an ang mo. The ang mo was the funniest, keep asking for dance, den rejected him, but he keep making those sad faces, and say pls just one round... Bla bla...but HACK care. ha ha...

Yes, club is a messy place, not a good place when many people hear it.But it's actually individual mindset. IF you go there having a mindset that you want to know guys/girls, want to play around/fling, then precisely it's not a very nice thing to let people hear. But for me, I go there is to enjoy and have fun with my friends. Though it's crowded, and noisy, but with the music there I am able to enjoy at least for the few hours. Ya, there's many kinds of enjoyment, this is more of movement enjoyment, haha, i love dancing!

The day ended quite fun, just the start was bored. Hope that she enjoyed herself n more meet up shall comes=) We took many photos & shall be posted soon!

Saturday 27 oct 07.

In the late morning ard 10 plus, met up with shiyun. As we have decided to go ktv, so our plan followed well. We sang for Klunch at je, it's fun lah. I love singing! wooohoooo.....

My passion for singing & dancing never ends....just like my passion towards you .

After that, around 2pm, dear came to fetch us. We went to RC to play pool for a while. Then, shiyun got to go tiong bahru to meet up with her friend for dinner, so dear & me sent her there. After that I got to go work at 6pm.

Enjoyed myself with this girl. took lots of photos too! will upload soon...

After my work, went home first. Then around 1130pm, dear came to fetch me. We went to plush! Never go to this new place before. so wanted to try and see if the environment is how. actually we planned to go MOS , but mavia say she going to plush, den can get free entry, so why not? go there have a look. But we went there a while only then me& dear went off le. don't really like the people there and the music. Then, we went to MOS. it's definitely much fun then plush for us. Crazy dance there! ha ha... got a group of girls & guys, think they ain't singaporean, 2 of the girls quite big in size, den keep using the body and BUTT to bang to me. But apart from this, We enjoyed! Dear brought me to walk ard in there, and we took photos too!! gonna upload as well!! hahaha

2007-10-21T02:03:00.000+08:00

Today is 20oct. it's Alex 1 yr death anniversary. Wat a day.Time flies so fast, seriously, i can't feel that you left us for 1 yr, living in a different world. It's like just yesterday.My heart still aches in sadness and secret tears still flow. Went to visit Alex in the late noon, accompanied by dear. Today sat there quite long, wanted to spend a bit longer time with Alex there, stayed there ard 40 minutes, when going back saw his small sister. She's sweet, especially with the friendly smile, indeed sweet=)

I remember the days, really the days when I am down, sad, depressed, over Alex's death, over broken relationships, over school work or family problems... I remember 2 person whom is there for me for this period of time. Joan & Ke Wei. My best buddies, my xiong's family. I miss them. Really thankful for them to be here for me whenever I am faced with those problems. Never leaving me alone, always there willingly to pull me up from the lowest pit. Never failed to listen to my sorrows and pain, greatly appreciate all. I will never forget both of you. Of course there are a lot other people that walked through with me for those times, there are many that I can't simply named all out. But be sure you guys have walked through the parts and parcels of my life. People like.. Kc robot`baba`, shiyun, mavia, pohying, PeiMing jie, Cheeseng, and a lot others... thanks for always listening to my pain, sorrows, happiness, nonsense. *HUGS*
Joan- my best best buddy, always there for me, I know I have always ps you in school cuz I always pon. but gal, I am trying hard this sem, esp knowing I am in the same class as you. I am sick those few days, that's why didn't go. Didn't mean to leave you alone there. Hope we will still be the same !~ Love you girl.
Ke Wei- it's been really long time since we met. I really, truely miss the days we go to school together, eating our breakfast together. Disturbing you in msn, giving comments to each other in friendster. And a lot more. I am really happy to have you this 'di'. Hope that we will meet up soon, to 'play'? lols . dun want to drift apart with you n joan, hope the times will come back soon alright? You noe I treasure friendship, remember the happy moments, memories we all had together for the past 1 yr. Don't let it be just memories. Hope we will still meet up, now, and also after we graduate=) I dun wish to let other's know that I have a good 'di' in the past, but also I am having a good di `fren now~!

Letting Go… Is Something You Can Do.

Letting go? Can you do it or can you not?

I am sure we all have faced problems in our lives and sometimes when we try to drop it, we feel the pain in our hearts. Honestly, it’s easier said than done because there are times when no matter how hard we’ve tried, we will not be able to let certain things go from our lives.

Perhaps some of you may have not experienced this before but what I can tell you from my own first hand experience is, it’s neither easy to let go nor to forget something that we’ve had in our hearts and soul for such a long time. It does take time and when time pass by things will change, either for the better or for worst.

Letting go may not be the last resort for certain problems but when you yourself know that there isn’t any solution for that existing problem between you and your peers, siblings or others, do know that it’s the time to let go of your attachments. As I’ve said, it does take time and you cannot just drop something that you’ve build over the years or months in just one night or even a week! That is why time will help us in letting go although it’s a tedious task.

I’ve come to a point that I’ve realised that there is certain stuff that one has to forget and also let go because we are still humans and remember nothing is perfect in this live of ours. Living life to the fullest is the best and when you’re bothered by cumbersome problems or thoughts that wouldn’t even matter to anyone, it’s just a waste of time. I am not an expert but flashing back my own recent memories I’ve realised that nothing is permanent in this life.

Morrie Schwartz once said:

Don’t cling to things because everything is impermanent.

You cannot go running and chasing other people’s tails because that is not the right thing to do. Besides, you have your own life and shouldn’t be bothered about what others think of you or what people might say behind your back. All these happen because it’s one of our human nature. Things happen. We cannot turn back the time because it’s impossible.

What’s more, I believe that we should live our own lives and not living our lives for others. I mean, frankly, it’s for our sake and remember, not others. People may not like what you’re doing or what you have in mind, so just screw it because there is one thing we cannot change in this world. And it’s their thoughts and minds. Yes, things may be easier if we can read their minds but this will not happen.

Think about the future. Think of the long run and not short run. If you let problems bug you till you get depressed, it will not do you good either because you’re only hurting yourself at the end of the day. And what’s more, you’re not going to hurt the other party as they will not feel what you’re feeling at the moment. Perhaps, they have pawned you if you do succumb in front of their menacing eyes. It’s like a psychological warfare.

What I’d say is be tough, strong and don’t let the strong gale blow your stand away. Stay firm on the ground and believe in yourself and what you can do to lead a happier life and don’t go troubling yourself with those cumbersome thoughts as it will not only pull you down, it will hurt you to the max. Once you’ve learnt to let go some of those troublesome thoughts, your life will be happier and more cheery for the days to come!

Dear readers, is letting go easy or hard? Any experiences of your own?

LOVE

2007-10-18T15:19:00.000+08:00

So many relationships end with a broken heart. Many times only one person wanted out of the relationship and that leaves the other person wounded with a broken heart. When a relationship ends it takes a toll on the self-esteem and it may take many months if not years to recover. There are 3 steps to mending a broken heart.

1. Forgiveness. Forgive yourself for all the wrong that you feel you did during the relationship and then forgive the other person for any wrong you feel they did.Forgive and go free.

2. Self-esteem rebuilding. Work on rebuilding your self-esteem.

3. Aloneness. Be alone and feel the loneliness. Give yourself some healing time and work on mending your broken heart one step at a time. You will mend over time and you will find love again. Be patient with yourself. The more you work at forgiveness and you learn how to move forward the heart will mend and become open again.

Experience can carry an emotional price and that price is often paid in full by the pain of regretfulness that we continue to suffer. But in order for us to stop punishing ourselves and move forward in our love lives, we must find an empowering value in our past so it can start serving us well in the future.

The following are strategies that are designed to help you lighten your emotional load or convert past experiences into more valuable assets for you to reinvest into your future:

• Convert your past pain into warnings. If you can learn something from your past experiences, they have value you can put to use today and in the future. When a decision results in negative consequences, then that experience becomes a warning not to choose that same course of action again. With this simple mindset adjustment, you can start to steer away from repeating your mistakes.

• Let your past pleasure inspire you to experience more. When we recognize something good that happened in our past, it can serve to inspire us to experience that again. Instead of warnings, these pleasurable moments can be examples of how life rewards you when the right choices and circumstances come together. Remembering your successes can help restore your faith in love and your ability to attract it again into your life.

• Forgive yourself by adding the key missing resources. Many of our past mistakes could have been avoided if we had the benefit of knowing the consequences in advance. The truth is that people do about the best they can with the mental, physical, and emotional resources that they have at any given time. By considering how a key present resource --- like your current level of self-confidence --- might have changed the outcome of a past experience, you can easily forgive yourself and let go of unnecessary and destructive emotional pain.

• Put a new empowering label on your old experience. We have a tendency to describe a past event with an emotional label. For example, we will say something like “It was a humiliating experience.” Now that may have been true when it happened, but for now you can constructively say that it was a “learning experience.” That way, you can recall what you learned rather than how it felt to be humiliated. Another thing you can do is to describe this humiliating experience from the past as “a tad embarrassing” in retrospect. By describing your past with less emotionally charged words, you can access the event without bringing up the same intensity of pain.

• Throw away all of the old anchors. Sometimes it takes bold, radical moves to break the habit of hanging on to negative emotional feelings. In the case of forgetting painful relationships, it may be useful to toss out old photos, love letters, and romantic cards or gifts. It may also help to stop listening to songs of that time period which bring you back instantly to those lost moments. These reminders may be keeping you attached emotionally to unwanted and outdated times in your life and thus prevent you from appreciating what could be in your life today or in the future.

• Get help if you need it. If you need professional help to move forward, seek counsel from a goal-oriented therapist or life coach. Also, a weekly support group can help you realize that we all face challenges in our lives and let you see how others are handling theirs. In addition, techniques like breath work are useful for letting go of lingering difficult feelings. Lastly, remember that we all need to take a break from love at times after a relationship has been particularly painful. Perhaps this is a period when you can just date for fun, taking your time before getting too serious.

• Don’t look back, look forward instead. Once you’ve been able to embrace the lessons of your past, control your focus by thinking, talking, and referring to things in your present. Think of the positive possibilities life could offer you today. Realize that when the mind doesn’t have anything good to focus on in the present or for the future, it has a natural tendency to drift back to emotional events of the past. Also, if you fill your upcoming schedule with an assortment of worthwhile activities to experience, there won’t be any time to obsess about the past.

• Give yourself a new adult identity. How about becoming an “enlightened woman” now instead of continuing to be a “victim” of the past? All you have to do is willingly accept full responsibility for your love life, learn from every experience, and appreciate the healing process of becoming more compassionate toward yourself and others. By seeing yourself as living at a higher level, you can instantly lessen the pain of the past and make your general attitude more attractive to others.

• Remember to love yourself at all times. Having high self-esteem is perhaps the greatest aid to repairing a hurtful past. The more you love and honor yourself, the more you’ll be control of your own emotions. In addition, you’ll feel less at the mercy of unpleasant circumstances --- both in the past and present. The next time you come face-to-face with a hurtful reminder of your past, be sure to have incredible compassion for yourself. Also appreciate your newfound ability to handle challenges.

How you feel about your past will greatly affect your attitude towards your future love-life. As soon as you’re ready, lighten up your emotional load so that you can be free to love again in the future. Don’t penalize your love-life by hanging on to unnecessary and destructive memories from your past.

The Bottom Line
Dating sucks when your past weighs you down and makes your spirit less attractive to prospective men. But dating rocks when you discover how your past can help you grow into a human-being who has more love and compassion to give to the deserving men in your future.

2007-10-17T04:13:00.000+08:00

On sun, 14/10/07... Bdae Celebration for Jeff, my ge ge !

Jeff bdae was on thurs, but they planned to have a big gathering celebration on Sunday, total of 12 people..woohoo!

In the morning, dear came to my house to accompany me... dear's friend, ming de, came to fetch us to meet the rest in the noon. Had the international buffet at royal plaza hotel, we dine in at Carousel. The food was amazing! The ambiance with the food and people we went with was perfect! The main dish, side dish, seafood, sushi, n most importantly ...the desserts ...were all eye-catching and its really delicious! I love the desserts man! sad to say... forgetting to try the chocolate fondue was a big pity!!
My poor dear have to eat a lot, cuz I took a lot of food and tried and passed to dear to eat. LOLS. dear dear noe my pattern ah, i told him beforehand.

After the lunch, we went on with the plan to KTV! woohoo! My favourite! sang from 3 to 7pm, jeff booked the ktv at orchard partyworld, a treat from him. After that, all of us headed to holland'v' , ate ice cream at 'colorbar'. I ate chocolate & cheese waffle, it's nice! N here comes the nightmare, while eating halfway, a cat was just right up opposite me, it jumped up there sitting facing our table. OMG ! I have no mood to continue eating, I am really scare of cats, everyone should noe. Don't ask me why , I really duno, but just scare of it! ha ha... Sorry to scare yong qiang, due to my big reaction.LOLS.

Overall, It's really a nice gathering, I enjoyed myself and I am sure everyone enjoyed. Thanks to the bdae boy whom organized this gathering and making the effort to call up everyone, and of cuz it's because of everyone's effort to make themselves presence for the gathering, that brings up the fun & enjoyment. I really appreciate to be there , I enjoyed being in the big gathering, having the fun with the rest and chatting with them, listening to their craps, jokes, and talking and of cuz the fun part in ktv.

How I wish I can have such gatherings with my own sec group friends as well. of cuz i am happy to be involved with my dear's groups of friends, but what I can do is just to admire others. I have tried other ways, but sometimes things just don't go the way we want if the people don't cooperate as well.

Here are the pictures taken...I have spent the sleeping time to edit & design...enjoy!...

2007-10-07T14:42:00.000+08:00

Thursday, 041007.

went to study with zm at west coast mac at nite till 1am. Was really packed there that night, luckily got a space for my lappy plug.

Recently been very busy in class, I have put in effort to really study hard for the last sem. But I don't understand why when you work hard and strive for something right, people say you. When you don't , people say you too. Humans are meant to say each other, so be it then.

Friday, 051007

happy anniversary dear! was our 1month anniversary. Didn't know that it passes so fast. Wish it will goes on, I want to walk on my path of life with you, and go through all the good & bad with you . went to esplanade with him, enjoyed the romantic night with him with the scenery there. Thanks dear. Every moment with him is worth it, cherish him=)
Took a lot of pictures with him, all uploaded in friendster^^

Saturday,061007

dear came to my house after his half day work, pei me study a while. Then, we went for a short walk at westmall. After that, watched movie at my house. Enjoyed n blessed to have him company always

Selfish acts

2007-10-03T19:47:00.000+08:00

Humans are all selfish.
It's just how selfish one is. Some people are those kinds that are damn selfish to an extreme. While others are just selfish when there isn't a choice. But how many are the second type of people? What's the advantage of being good, when people tends to take advantage of your good ?

There is no such thing as an unselfish act. Maybe that doesn't make a lot of sense; people are always doing nice things for each other. Giving money, volunteering, donating food and supplies to a needy nation. They are all selfless acts of charity. Well, that is wrong. There is no such thing as an unselfish act. Every act is selfish. While some acts may be more or less selfish than others, no act is purely unselfish.

The question is, "Why do we help other people?" The answer is hidden, but easily uncovered. There are two reasons why we help people. One of them is the feeling we get when we help another person, that feeling of pride, responsibility, and great generosity. When you help another person, you feel good about what you did, that you are important and unselfish and are a deserving human being.

Would we do acts if we did not get this feeling? Perhaps, but there is yet another factor contributing to the need for humans to help others. Humans feel they have to help others, in order to be good people. When one is walking down the street and encounters a homeless person, depending on the person, they will feel compelled to help that human out, by giving some money. It feels obligatory, like there is no choice. And of course, accompanying the donation comes the "generous" feeling.

In some cases, a huge factor that forces one to help another is guilt. Back to the homeless example, you might feel guilty seeing someone less fortunate than you, therefore you help them because you feel guilty. Or, you might be at a water fountain, and there is a long line behind you. While you might want more water, you stop anyway, because by staying there, the guilt grows and grows by each second, until it is unbearable. Of course, if the person doing the drinking is guiltless, that person won't move. For that person, their simply is no reason to move, therefore, the person doesn't move.

There is no unselfish act; every single thing that anybody does is at some level selfish. Perhaps the act most thought of as unselfish is sacrificing your life for someone else.
On the contrary, that is the most selfish act in the entire world, as it combines all three of the factors which contribute to a human helping another human. In the last moments before you die for another, one feels a sense of triumph, that they are doing the ultimate deed of righteousness, thereby granting them a happy death. Perhaps they feel compelled to help that human out, because they did some great misdeed to them and must right it by sacrificing themselves. And finally, perhaps the most powerful, is the guilt. If you let someone else die in your place, you have to live with the horrifying guilt of what you did. So, it's simply just easier to die instead of going through years of pain. While it is noble, it is also cowardly, in order to avoid having to face the horrible life after watching someone else die because of you. And of course, if the person doesn't get any pride, doesn't feel compelled, and is guiltless, they will not perform the final act. It's that simple, you selfish pig.

Finally my professional profiling project & presentation ended!

Don't act clever, and say I am stupid. thanks

2007-10-02T00:49:00.001+08:00

From my bottom of my heart...it's like how its written...

As long as stars shine down from heaven
And the rivers run into the sea
'Til the end of time, forever
You're the only love I'll need
In my life, you're all that matters
In my eyes, the only truth I see
When my hopes and dreams have shattered
You're the one that's there for me

When I found you I was blessed
And I will never leave you
I need you

Imagine me without you
I'd be lost and so confused
I wouldn't last a day
I'd be afraid without you there to see me through
Imagine me without you
Lord, you know it's just impossible
Because of you
It's all brand new
My life is now worth while
I can't imagine me without you

When you caught me I was falling
Your love lifted me back on my feet
It was like you heard my calling
And you rushed to set me free

When I found you I was blessed
And I will never leave you
I need you

I can't imagine me without you

2007-09-20T15:33:00.000+08:00

Yesterday wasn't a complete good day ...
It was PohYing's bdae, we planned to go clubbing few weeks ago. Happy that the plan is on.
But really sorry to her that a scene was created half way through the enjoyment of the day.
Sorry to my dear brothers also. As yesterday was Robin's 'POP'too.Sorry to see the situation being spoil this way.

I just don't understand and really sad and pissed off yesterday. How I wish Mavia was there with me, cuz I know if she hear what the girl said and yelled at me in the dance floor, I guess via will helped me. cuz I don't shout back to people, I just walk away.I wish I could swallowed the pain myself silently then there wouldn't be a situation like what happened yesterday, but i couldn't do that. But I am still happy that poh ying was there for me. Thanks girl. And of cuz thanks to dear for listening to me, and standing by with me. You know how scare I am that you will support your friend and think it's my childishness. But you didn't, you believed that she said hasty words that hurts me out of no where, and stand by me.

It's the first time someone did such a ''respect'' thing to me. If you have the guts to say people, then have the courage to admit.
Trying to cover what you have done, is such a immature move and childish way, makes me realized that older age doesn't mean a more mature thinking. Knowing that I have no wrong, yet you can come with your own selfishness and just yelled at me, you are no one to me. Just a friend of a friend I just got to know. You don't have to cover your mistakes and makes everyone thinks that I am the one to be blamed, and it's my childishness to walk away from the scene. I guess they will think I am childish and immature to walk away, trying to create troubles, but that's because you didn't admit what you said to me. Anyway, it's okay, I have no guilts. You should be feeling guilty. I am happy that my dear believed me and always there for me.

I am not trying to earn anyone's sympathy or trying to show that I am immature complaining about things that have happened. I know let bygones be bygones. But this is my blog, I have the right to write out my feelings. If not this blog isn't a blog already.=)

Life is full of secrets and lies, so when people f**k you over don't be surprised...
Fools live to regret their words, wise men to regret their silence

Happy moments
I am happy that you are always there for me. I felt so close being with you. We respect each other and do things quite mature. We don't treat each other as a thing but treasure and respect each other alot. I am happy that we spent so much happy moments together, I believed that we will continue. Though there may be unhappy or sad moments or any disrupts in future, but I believe we will stand by each other and not let things affect our relationship.

after what happened today, it doesn't worsen our relationship but strengthen the bonds of ours.

And also Happy that you bring me out to eat, to see the world. I am happy to have you by my side.

It's true you never know what the future holds,

but if you live your life for what could be you will only end up

missing out on all the fun that can be had in the here and now.

I live my life not in the past, thinking about what was,

not in the future, thinking about what could be,

I live my life in the present, enjoying every second.

One day u will come to me n ask "What's more important, your life or mine?"

I will say "mine" and you will walk away never knowing you are my life...

2007-08-23T15:41:00.000+08:00

dream bf.

every girl dreams that one day she will find a guy that does these things for her.

..give her one of your t-shirts to
sleep in.
..leave her cute text notes.
..kiss her in front of your friends.
..tell her she looks beautiful.
..look into her eyes when you talk to
her.
..let her mess with your hair.
..touch her hair.
..just walk around with her.
..FORGIVE her for her MISTAKES.
..look at her like she's the only girl
you see.
..tickle her even when she says stop.
..hold her hand when you're around
your friends.
..when she starts swearing at you,
tell her you love her.
..let her fall asleep in your arms.
..get her mad, then kiss her.
..stay on the phone with her even if
shes not saying anything.
..tease her and let her tease you back.
..stay up all night with her when
she's sick.
..watch her favorite movie with her.
..kiss her forehead.
..give her the world.
..let her wear your clothes.
..when she's sad, hang out with her.
..let her know she's important.
..kiss her in the pouring rain.
..when you fall in love with her, tell
her.
..and when you tell her, love her like
you've never loved someone before.

//somehow i wish tat this can come
true,
//and everyting would be perfect.!

Got this from jessie's blog n she got it from a bulletin...probably this is every gers dream bf. mine also. how i wish i'll meet someone who'll treat me like that. i'll probably fall head over heels for him and swear he'll be de one im gonna luv even if it means in my nxt life.

2007-08-22T15:21:00.000+08:00

Everything that happened in my life will be part of my memories.

I really wish to settle down, I don't wish to wander around. I am not those kind that wants to get to know more n more and choose from there. I am not that type,so don't force me to be that kind. I know there's many choices, I am still young. But I am not really that young. I don't wish to be with someone because I have seen through everything of his or what... I believe if you love someone, you will accept his flaws and good. You won't judge someone then think whether will have problem anot, every relationship have its own problem. If you truly love someone wholeheartedly, you won't do that. But really really overcome all the problems/obstacles, its easy to say, but how many couples can really overcome all and come to an good ending?

2007-08-20T21:42:00.001+08:00

fate is cruel and life's unpredictable

2007-08-19T14:05:00.000+08:00

Friday- Went to watch fireworks with pohying, aaron, siwei, Hweeting, Geokhwa, Mingyao,CheeSiang. It's nice and fun hanging out with them. Since a long time we never gathered this way. I hided my sadness in my heart to look happy and be a crazy girl in front of them. I don't want to spoil anyone mood. =) I wish to watch again next yr...but with...?haha
Went to eat burger king around 11pm plus... Then, we went to mindcafe at parkway there. Chilled there till 3 plus. Saw my another groups of friends there too. Shared cab with 3 of them home=)

Saturday- Supposed to watch fireworks again with one of my fren 'j'. But ended up eating sakae Sushi buffet ! so scare very rush, that's why chose to go shopping... to look for STYLE clothes. ha ha. but can't find and no $$ also. After that, went to JE to play pool, then to Kbox! till 4am!! woooo....

Let me suffer alone. I don't wish others to suffer with me.Its a MUST for me to learn to handle things NOW.FACE IT MYSELF!

This is what I have been telling myself. TO suffer alone, clear the mess myself. Don't pull anyone to clear it for me or suffer with me. But again and again, I let my parents suffer with me. I am really sorry. Truly sorry. Yes, I am no longer the 'gal' they know. They see me torturing myself by doing things I never do, they felt the pain I am going through. But I hate myself for suffering alone and making them suffer too. Let me suffer myself. Let me keep everything in my heart. I will be alright, but just can't find back myself.

Put a gun to my heart
At the loud sound, let everything return to the start
If love means that nothing can be liberated
I won't struggle, I'm no different anyway

I stand alone, scanning this forgotten wasteland
Seeing the ends of the earth, the edges of the sky cannot be seen
Alone I wait for an infinite amount of time
Feeling all the memories revolve around meI still remember when we walked to this place together, quietly lying next to each other

I said from then on my heart
will never have another direction,
You also promised,
tightly grasping my two hands.

But now how much time has passed us by,
replacing and rotating the same place
so that a different scene
has taken its place

Now the only thing that lingers in the sky
is my cold, melancholy cry

A cold wind blows by my ear,
blowing so that I can't hear
hear the promise you made
already disappear into this wasteland

Tomorrow's story is all mine, mine
There is more than one type of so-called happiness
The beautiful spring, summer, autumn, winter, and falling leaves are mine
I only understand what a dream is after experiencing it for myself

2007-08-17T13:50:00.000+08:00

Have been listening to this song for the whole night yesterday... My XBB Joan gave it to me, and say it suits me a lot. It's e first time she intro me an chinese song, thanks gal. It's really a nice song. hmm... don't believe? read the lyrics den..

Rainie- 左邊

總是　忍不住寂寞掉下眼淚
你才會給安慰
擔心　短暫的晴天隨時都可能
被陰霾收回
等待　有機會最壞也最甜美
我樂觀卻疲憊
因為　太怕失去你所以連快樂裡
都裝滿傷悲

你不曾發覺　你總是用右手牽著我
但是心卻跳動在左邊
你和我之間的遙遠　永遠隔著親切
愛少的可憐
伸出右手　想陪著你向前走
感受　你愛我的心跳在左邊
那麼深深愛你的我
相信你會了解（你一定　看得見）

總在　埋怨過你的冷漠之後
又急著說抱歉
彷彿　向疏遠的你乞求一點體諒
都是我不對
結果　有可能最美也最可悲
我做好了準備
也許　太自由的你
心裡面那個家誰也不能回

我一直相信　總有一天
你會用左手　牽著我走向明天
未來很遙遠　卻會實現
心在同一邊就能夠聽見
你說的那句　我愛你

I cry because I am unable to endure the loneliness
that's the only time you comfort me
I'm worried that a short bout of clear weather
can be claimed by dark clouds at any time
I wait for a chance to be at my worst and my best,
I'm hopeful yet exhausted
because I'm too scared of losing you,
even in my happiness I am full of sorrow

You hadn't realized, you always use your right hand to hold my hand,
but your heart beats on your left
The distance between us always cuts us off from intimacy,
the pity of inadequate love
I extend my right hand, wanting to walk ahead with you,
feeling the heart that loves me beating on your left side
I, who deeply loves you,
believe you will understand (You can definitely see it)

After regretting your indifference,
I always hurriedly apologize
You neglect me and then beg for sympathy,
making it seem as if I'm the one at fault
The conclusion may be the most beautiful or the most sorrowful,
I've prepared myself
You are too free,
maybe no one can re-enter your heart

I've always believed that one day
You will put your left hand in my hand and we will advance towards tomorrow
The future is far, but it will come true
If your heart is at the same side
then I will be able to hear you say "I love you"

2007-08-12T22:14:00.000+08:00

If you're waiting for tomorrow, why not do it today?
For if tomorrow never comes, you'll surely regret this day.

This quote is seen n heard so many times isn't it?
Well, I think sometimes it's true sometimes it's not nice to believe it and do it.
Many people think of the way like the quotes says, and makes regrets in the end because of being too rush decisions make.
While others really regret for not doing it at the moment of time.

ya, so its confusing, ain't it? ain't life confusing?

If tears could build a stairway
I would walk right up to Heaven
and bring you home.

Why is it that the most beautiful things in life are the most dangerous?
Sunlight, trust & love are just a few...

In life there will be sunburn, broken promises, & of course, broken hearts.

Life is full of secrets and lies, so when people f**k you over don't be surprised..

Death is well understood, it's life that isn't.

2007-08-12T12:59:00.000+08:00

New playlist in my blog. simply explains my feelings.

2007-08-06T17:31:00.001+08:00

Went to visit my dear friend Alex just now.
Let out my sorrows n pain in front of him. Told him everything I felt.

Hope he can hear it. Help me n pray for me.

*misses*

After tat, met JunJie to JP to play pool & arcade.

2007-08-05T11:35:00.000+08:00

When your feeling lost in the night,
When you feel your world just ain't right,
Call on me I will be waiting.
Count on my I will be there.
Anytime the times get to tough,
Anytime your best ain't enough,
I'll be the one to make it better.
I'll be there to protect you,
See you though.
I'll be there and there is nothing,
I won't do.
I will cross the ocean for you,
I will go and bring you the moon,
I will be your hero, your strength,
Anything you need.
I will be the sun in your sky,
I will light your way for all time.
Promise you,
For you I will.
I will shield your heart from the rain,
I will let no harm come your way.
Oh, these arms will be your shelter.
No these arms won't let you down.
If there is a mountain to me,
I will move that mountain for you.
I'm here for you, I' m here forever.
I will be your fortress, tall and strong.
I'll keep you safe, I'll stand beside you,
All along.

For you I will.
For you I will lay my life on the line.
For you I will follow,
For you I will die.
With every breath, with all my soul,
I'll give my world,
I'll give it all.
Put your faith in me and I'll do anything.
I will cross the ocean for you,
I will go and bring you the moon,
I will be your hero, your strenght,
Anything you need.
I will be the sun in your sky,
I will light your way for all time.
Promise you,
For you I will.
I will, I Will, I WILL
I will cross the ocean for you,
I will go and bring you the moon,
I will be your hero, your strenght,
Anything you need.
I will be the sun in your sky,
I will light your way for all time.
Promise you,
For you I will.
Promise you,
For you I will.
I Promise you,
For you I will.

2007-08-02T14:26:00.001+08:00

I don't understand. In life, there is so many couples whom wish to be together but they can't be. Is heaven playing fool on them?

Why can't we treasure n cherish what we have?
Why do people always throw love away.

Seeing people missing their love one whom is gone to heaven. Knowing they lost their bf, and its forever lost him. But at least she knows that her bf doesn't want to go, doesn't meant to leave her alone suffering.

Its better to feel the way that ur bf is gone to heaven n is missing you than knowing someone is gone n will not come back when he is still in the world.

Alex, my dear friend..I miss you. I am now suffering alone. Once AGAIN.
Will you send some guidance from above? Will you tell me what to do again?
I don't care how you going to tell me. You want to come down to hit me beat me scold me for being stupid here. I don't care. Just guide me along my life. I am going to be dead soon if this continues. sorry I know its very stupid, I won't do anything foolish I guess. I really wish to be like you, no worries, no problems, not like me living in this freaking world, ALONE.

2007-08-01T15:04:00.001+08:00

Elliott Yamin - Wait for you

I never felt nothing in the world like this before

Now I\'m missing you

I\'m wishing that you would come back through my door

Why did you have to go? You could have let me know

So now I\'m all alone,

Boy you could have stayed

But you wouldn’t give me a chance

With you not around it\'s a little bit more then i can stand

And all my tears they keep running down my face

Why did you turn away?

So why does your pride make you run and hide?

Are you that afraid of me?

But I know it\'s a lie what you keep inside

This is not how you wanted to be

So darling I will wait for you

Cause I don\'\'t know what else i can do

Don\'t tell me I ran out of time

If it takes the rest of my life

Darling I will wait for you

If you think I\'m fine it just aint true

I really need you in my life

No matter what i have to do I\'ll wait for you

It\'s been a long time since you called me

(How could you forget about me)

You got me feeling crazy (crazy)

How can you walk away?

Everything stays the same

I just can\'t do it darling

What will it take to make you come back

Boy I told you what it is & it just ain\'t like that

Why can\'t you look at me, your still in love with me

Don\'t leave me crying.

Darling why can\'t we just start over again

Get it back to the way it was

If you give me a chance I can love you right

But your telling me it wont be enough

So darling I will wait for you

Cause I don\'\'t know what else i can do

Don\'t tell me I ran out of time

If it takes the rest of my life

Darling I will wait for you

If you think I\'m fine it just aint true

I really need you in my life

No matter what i have to do I\'ll wait for you

So why does you pride make you run & hide

Are you that afriad of me?

But I know it\'s a lie what your keeping inside

Thats not how you wanted to be

Darling I will wait for you

If it\'s the last thing i do

Darling I will wait for you

Cause I don\'t know what else i can do

Don\'t tell me I ran out of time

If it takes the rest of my life

Darling I will wait for you

you think I\'m fine it just aint true

I really need you in my life

No matter what i have to do I\'ll wait for you

I\'ll Be Waiting.

2007-08-01T14:18:00.000+08:00

I didn't meant to make you feel irritated. I don't know what wrong have I done. ya sorry to fan you when u are tired. you want to go anywhere, go with who, smoke, drink or whatever, I am always fine with it. Go on with your life the way you want. I didn't even say no at all before. Since you are happy with it. I can cry for always, but it doesn't make a difference. It's only the pain in my heart. will you feel the pain too? It's alright.

SO many songs can describe my feelings. Hearing them, it's how I feels. what I am left with is songs to accompany me n my feelings. Left with songs without a soul. I am a song without a soul.

What I have with him is worth it.

It is worth every lonely night,

every tear I cry from missing him,

and the pain I feel from not having him close.

It is worth it because he is my one and only.

When I picture myself years from now, I see only him.

No matter how painful distance can be,

not having him in my life would be worse

Frustrated because I cant tell if its real
Mad because I don't know how you feel
Upset because we can't make it right
Sad because I need you day and night
Angry because you won't take my hand
Aggravated because you don't understand
Disappointed because we can't be together
But still I'll love you FOREVER

2007-07-29T17:48:00.000+08:00

I realized that its better to miss someone that is dead than alive.

I rather miss someone whom is gone forever

2007-07-28T22:04:00.000+08:00

I just wanna say sorry to people whom I ignored these days.

I can only say that to some people, some friends, I am no longer who I used to be. To many people, I might be a different person now. Seriously, I don't know what I am doing.

I have no motivation at all.
I am sick of studying all of the sudden.
I have no motivation at all to continue.
I always tell myself, go to school, at least for 'di' n Xbb in the past...
I am still doing it... but the word 'pon' & 'zhao' halfway of lesson. I am useless. I can't control.

I really want to study. I want to excel in my studies like what I have had in the past. But Why I can't do it now? Why?

I don't know.

Scold me. Say me. It's still the same. I am a bad girl , no longer the innocent one in everyone's eyes. I am crazy & siao & emo.

There's so much things happening around me. Perhaps its not really that much, but my mind is just pondering so much. So that's why everyone say don't think so much 'jas'. And So i always say I wish I m DEAD. SO i can don't think so much. Understand...

yea, I don't want to make my problems other people's problem.

But I always caused other's pissed off or unhappy. So just ignore me. If you want to care for me, use your true heart and care to care for me. Don't do it for the sake of doing it or pleasing me.
THANKS ALOT=)

I am really sick n tired of going to school. Lots of reasons... --> the school system, the PEOPLE there, the facilitators out there, the friends I made there.

i jus hate myself.

nothing left to say.

Byul

2007-07-23T13:15:00.001+08:00

the wind is shaking the windows, and over my small room, the stars fill up the sky, shining brightly... too many to count, the stars reassure tired me, they wipe away the many tears that are deep inside me

don't be hurt too much..they hug me tight and pamper me
and comfort me, telling me to go to sleep

though I'm exhausted to the point where I can't walk
though my tears blur my vision
I'll still smile in front of my love that I'm not able to get

Even though our happy times were short, I'll treasure it deep inside my heart
like those countless number of stars, forever

My dream is coming. though it is unusual that my one star is bright
it is very bright, even blinding..it comes down to my shoulder
stop being so sad..it holds my hand as it touches me
and gives me a warm hug

though I'm exhausted to the point where I can't walk
though my tears blur my vision
I'll still smile in front of my love that I'm not able to get

Even though our happy times were short, I'll treasure it deep inside my heart
like those countless number of stars, forever

Only for today, I won't cry though my eyes fill with tears
I want to laugh like those stars
Oh~ I want to cherish all my happy moments deep inside my heart
Like those countless number of stars, forever

What's forever for

2007-07-23T13:08:00.000+08:00

I've been looking at people
And how they change with the times
And lately all I've been seeing are people
Throwing love away and losing their minds

Or maybe it's me that's gone crazy
'Cause I can't understand why
All these people keep hurting each other

When good love is so hard to come by
So what's the glory in living
Doesn't anybody ever stay together anymore
And if love never lasts forever
Tell me what's forever for

I've been listening to people
And they say love is the key
And it's not my way to let them lead me astray
It's only that I want to believe

But I see love-hungry people
Trying their best to survive
While in their hands is a dying romance
And they're not even trying to keep it alive

So what's the glory in living
Doesn't anybody ever stay together anymore
And if love never lasts forever
Tell me what's forever for

And if love never lasts forever
Tell me what's forever for

2007-07-22T21:03:00.000+08:00

If someone lost the respect you had given to them, give them a second chance.

Has someone let you down? It happens from time to time, so don't let it ruin a relationship. They made a mistake, they fell short of your expectations, and they may have even lost some of the respect you've given them. It's important for you to let them earn it back -- don't give them a test or a task, but give them a second chance. You might be a bit more wary next time, but you need to keep an open mind. You have been where they are, you know how hard it can be.

I have been through alot alot... I know its hard...and afterall it's the same after so much I been through. Sometimes it doesn't seems to get better. But I still believe that everyone is worth to be given a chance. I believe that everyone is different.

The art of communication is wanting to to know what the person is thinking and how is the person getting well with his life. Not just normal chatting like 'how's ur sch, how's ur day...etc...

We should let the person know that you care about how he feels and how he is getting on with his life.

2007-07-16T19:46:00.000+08:00

It's been quite long since I blog...

Suddenly got the urge to blog...

Just came back from running at Bukit Gombak Stadium... Well, I m back to my running life n exercising life. To people in poly, or outside friends hearing me exercising/ running will be shocked. But to my secondary school friends, it's nothing big deal =)

It may be unbelievable to many friends that I used to run for my class, cross country, sports day and so on in primary & secondary school... And it's really quite saddening and hurting hearing them not believing I run and love sports...Yeah I am fatter, but I still have the stamina and I can challenge you if you want. ha ha... But it's true, in e past, I am really 'into' to running the most and seeing soccer matches ( supporting my school). I truly enjoyed running and sports a lot, and taking part in competition. To my sec friends, they all knows. But now, it's such a disgrace for me. People outside or my poly friends won't believe la, but who cares la. I know I love what I do and I will do what I love.

After graduation from sec, it's not I don't like sports / running anymore, but the time and effort I make is not there. There are many reasons for that, I am really feeling so disappointed and a disgrace for losing my interest I used to have and I am going to train hard and smart now to get back what I want.

I believe I can do it with my determination. Just now when I was running, I saw a few guys whom are training for 4*100 relay competition... It reminds me of Aisya,dewi,chiew lian, and some other of my sec friends... I really miss my secondary life...Not only miss the friends there, the activities and days we had there...but also the life like trainings for cross country, sports day, netball during sec 2&3... staying back to see Basketball trainings/ competitions held at clementi sports hall ... Staying back to see soccer trainings/matches...

I remember there are some times after my trainings/competitions , one of my eyes will go swollen. I don't know the reason till now. But luckily my friends are always there for me those days. Luckily just now my eyes ain't swollen. ha ha ha

* every memories that will never be replaced always*

2007-07-01T01:06:00.001+08:00

If I were blue, would you be there for me,
And whisper in my ears that's ok.
Would you stand by me, let me hold you tight,
And say you love me one more time.
If I feel good, would you slow dance with me,
And touch my lips with tender loving care,

Would you die for me, would you run with me,And never look back..
Would you be there to love, to be with me?
Would you swear that your love is always true?
Would you say that you'll always be the one,to take my breath away?

Would you be there to love, to be with me?
Would you swear that your love is always true?
Would you say that you'll always be the one,to take my breath away?
Would you be there..

If I am away would u still think of me
And wish that you could hold me now

Or would you die for me
Would you run with me all the way

Would you be there to love, to be with me?
Would you swear that your love is always true?
Would you say that you'll always be the one,to take my breath away?
Would you be there to save my soul tonight
Would you swear that your love is always true
Would you say that you will always be there to kiss my pain away

Would you be there to love to be with me
Would you swear that your love is always true
Would you say that you will always be the one to take my breath away

Would you be there to save my soul tonight
Would you swear that your love is always true
Would you say that you will always be there to kiss my pain away

Would you be there for me

2007-06-28T12:03:00.000+08:00

Everything have a new start.

The beginning.

everyone please re-link me!

thanks!

2007-06-25T18:44:00.000+08:00

I read mavia's blog...n realized what she got is very meaningful...so just wanna share with everyone...

one should not dwell on the flaws of the other party.. neither should 1 compare him/her to/with anything/anyone else. if u love the person you juz wanna be happy with the person and give the person the best.. you will onli appreciate the good points and make the flaws transparent.

i find this true though... hmmm.. but some ppl juz simply dun get this point.. when u tend to compare, the person will starts to feel inferior and then insecure.. when someone starts to feel insecure, the person will starts to think alot of "IFs" and get suspicious to wat ever the person does..

the worst relationship is Complicated relationship.. whereby 2 parties are more then frenz but not a couple.. it might b good but in a way bad coz if u starts thinking abut it, u will be lost... totally lost..

everyone when comes into a relationship, tends to get selfish... no 1 would wanna share their partners.. no 1 can tolerate their partners 2 timing..

if a couple truly loves each other, they will b most willing to go thru all difficulties together.. rejections from frenz and closest ppl..

2007-06-20T23:54:00.000+08:00

8 months

2007-06-14T15:18:00.001+08:00

I WANT THIS!!!

2007-06-14T13:57:00.001+08:00

bring my LIFE back!!!

2007-06-12T00:23:00.000+08:00

Understanding comes when both of you accept each completely.
A person comes on this earth with a package of his/her own.
One has to accept that package as whole, one can not select.
If you think that a person with all good and bads clicks with you ....go ahead.

Finding friends is a verrrrry difficult job...you have to believe your own instincts.
No body can give you any definition of a good friend.

I am happy with my life.Though I may be saying how sian/bored I am , but I like my life now.

I have friends that is true n Nice towards me.( though not all makes me happy, but some makes me happy=)

2007-06-10T22:35:00.000+08:00

I am a EMO freak!

Its so hard not to give a damn to you!