Friday, August 25, 2006
Holiday! This days were so tiring for me .... yeah its holiday but things started not good for me..well, people whom are close to me will know why.... and I don't want to elaborate more on it on this blog....Also been asking around HKSS mates whether who is able to go back on 31st august for teacher's day...as well as a meeting for us to catch up and talk talk... But I really hate to say this... I felt irritated always calling them... I love my friends, miss them, wanted to see them, but their response to me always made me feel that everything i do is useless...
yesterday when I was on my way out at MRt, I asked mavia to call me.... I told her what I dreamt of... ' I dreamt that finally the 7gals plus pohying were together in hKs... I was so happy.. we finally have a chance to see all of us together again...but ITS JUS A dREAm!! so stupid... so sad.... mavia n I was saying if my dream were true tats great...but this small wish ... only wants the 7gals to gather together is so hard? TELL ME TELL ME...dOnt tell me, after graduate pp goes separate ways...have new friends hard to meet... I dont believe in this...i believe that time is managed by oneself... I only know that if they really miss you and cherish you...they will take the initiative to meet up with you or give u a msg.... and not always like princess waiting for you to msg.... If you have the time to meet up with other frens, and have fun with them. but we always ask you out, its never coming true... so this telling me you actually don;t want to meet up with us rite? all we do is useless rite?
That time fireworks event, me, mavia, cheesiang discussed, we call them they wont turn up..we nv call them.. they blame us... WHAT THE.... what are they ? yes we miss them, but do they have to bai jia zi? means like so big...
If we never ask them, they will say we forget them, we dont' care them, we nv want them to join..all tis... then, we ask them, they say busy. not confirm. scare extra. alot of excuses...so wat''s the point..what do you want me to do?
During the 5 years, we were every day together... now separated...n its really so hard to meet up again?
I remember this five years down the road, you told me that I m your best friend, your 'dear' ... always passing letter to each other,,, telling me ur secrets in school...
but now recalling, those five years, i don't reallly remember you calling me or msging me... its 'hardly' you will msg me first or call me.... maybe msg yes..but calling NO... i remember always is i took the initiative.. Not that I wants to differentiate who is the one whom taking the initative..but friendship is like relationship... its take both friends to continue a friendship..if only one is trying to contact you... thinking of meeting up..and the other fren waiting only... its not going to work... Its take both our hands to build up friendship too...
Now that we graduated... its really i nv receive a single msg ...nv receive a single call ....
and always is me whom msg you ask u wan come out ? or whatever...but in e end...didnt get to meet up at all...
so is this best friend? I really ponder....
in times, i really think and think...e other gals always say don;t care them since they don;t appreciate us... but its easy to say ...but hard for me ... I say don;t want care..but in my heart...i miss them()... but I have put in the effort.... mavia, cheesiang, shan, and others have too... But why things turn up this way....
I told mavia, sometimes people whom are close with you in the past ...may be strangers with you in future.... And people whom are like strangers to you in the past....may be good n close friends with you now...
People always say treasure the friends around you... but do you noe its hurting me as I think of treasuring? I don't know how..someone teach me...
I really miss them...
You are why I live for... at -8/25/2006 12:45:00 PM