You are why I live for... at -12/31/2006 12:36:00 PM

After and after...... questions and questions.....

someone told me that my sweet couple blog became a dead blog, a lot post about death.
hahas.and want me to continue to blog my happiness with him, my love story n daily life.
hahas, yes my fren i will try to=)

You guys must be thinking , hmmm, why I cling on so much to my friend that passed away. right shuhui? lols. I don't know how to say, but its always when you lose someone, you get to know the presence and importance of the person more than usual. As I said I knew lec for so long, since church till sec sch same, the picture of him is there, memories are there. yes, its true, he is not my partner, not my bf, not my buddy, not my brother, he is just a friend to me. But you never know how is feels to lose someone like him unless you have. And I will always put myself in their shoes to feel for them, it’s kinda making me worst, but I am fine! Like I said in previous post, his buddies will be damn sad to celebrate christmas and other celebrations without him, losing such a cheerful happy fren, its true, i read from clemence blog. and kai nick. its such a cold christmas for them hais.

I watched the show on channel U, 10pm. monday is last episode. The girl is on the verge of dying in the hospital, all the bf can do is to wait and see her and be with her for the very few days. She can only survive with a heart transplant. The girl in the show is a very cheerful, talkative, friendly, nice gal. She is optimistic. She say she will never give up. Before her illness got worst, her friend passed away due to car accident, e guy was trying to save a child. And he passed away because of saving the child. Leaving his best friends, and gf grieving over him. His gf couldn't accept the fact, and start to have illusion, and keep going back to his apartment. And I start asking mummy, will my friend gf be like that too? I think myself, no, nat won't. She is very lost, she is very sad depressed, but she won't=) only have illusion in her dreams rite.hahas. And i asked mummy, hmm, I had dreams about about alex too, and his frens also dream of him. so isit a illusion in dream? or we miss and think of him too much tats why will dream?or he really came to our dreams? hais, all this questions, we nv know the answer. hahas.

Then, I was thinking of his sis, zabeth, i know that alex loves you alot, he teng you alot, though i duno you. maybe you think that no one understands your feelings and state of mind. But i believe what you going through is a millions and uncountable pain. I know that those consoled words , comfort words, you have heard a thousands times, its still the same, in your heart, you will always miss him, and think of why is all this happening. I shall just say ' though i duno you, but i will be there for you. you can just tell me how much you miss him or anything you feel in msn or anywhere you felt comfortable with=) though we will made each other feel, ouch, so sad, but its okay, cuz its e fact LOLS. ^^

The girl that is on the verge of dying consoled the girl whom lost her bf due to accident. And she finally got sensed, she was told that' when you really love someone deeply, you must know how the person feel, and you know that he don't wish to see you so depressed and go crazy because of him in heaven'. Well, this phrases may seems to be so familiar, but its still what I have to say only to tell you. Though we never gonna know what is lex doing up there, whether he still remembers us, whether he is thinking of us, whether he is happy, more worst, whether he remember who is he in heaven, n remember the things n memories in e past in the world. so many questions so many questions, but never never never will we know the answer.We wont know. But only to have faith in god as we have always, like lex have faith in god, believing he is doing well. Its better to think this way then to think other way right.