The real people are really not real at all

Friday, April 27, 2007

So tired man
Schooling everyday- 830 to 4pm.
Its damn bored and tiring
Everyday doing the same style, same kind of stuffs...
Research and presentation everyday
Bored.tired.

I miss hubby
I miss my hks 5n1 mates

You are why I live for... at -4/27/2007 01:10:00 AM

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

You are why I live for... at -4/24/2007 02:20:00 PM

Sunday, April 22, 2007

My goals:

To be a better person
To be more filial to my parents
To be more hardworking
To be perseverance - more determine to continue my setbacks and difficulties in school

To be more cheerful n Smile more
To be more confident in everything

To complete my task and plans successfully
DO NOT GIVE UP!

You are why I live for... at -4/22/2007 10:54:00 PM

Friday, April 20, 2007

I am tired.I haven't been really blogging as in blogging longer and relevant post. My previous post are mostly songs and short messages. It's not that I have nothing to talk about, I have alot alot to say, but I don't know how to start. All out of sudden, everything seems to be back to square, everything doesn't seems to go right, suddenly don't know to put my feelings and thoughts into words.

School: It doesn't seems to go smooth for me, out of no reason got a C for chemistry, one that I thought I could score. One that I have done a lot in contributing and understanding, and helping my team mates to understand. But I got a C in e end, WTH. Its really sadden and disappointment, just the 1st grade and a 1st C in the start, BAD START okay! DAMN, and I don't know the reason for it, worst, there is no individual comment, but bad comment for the team, but my team mates got a B. Its really sucks lah, tell me my individual comment lah if want to give me C.

In my new class, E44F, there's like 8 to 10 people I already knew. Kinda bad and good. As some I don't really like and its really irritating to meet them again. And also numbers of competitive in this class, esp one.

Overall, My modules are: Applied chemistry, Biomedical signal processing, biomedical instrumentation. Elective: Sports and nutrition. and of course FYP- wireless thermometer

I know that I am stupid and lousy now. You have no idea how sad I am. In sec sch, I am well known as a hardworking, intelligent girl, top 10 in the level.

But now, what others comment to me? what others think of me?
SO what if I am a girl taking a course relating to engineering? I may not have a intelligent brain as much as you have, but least I am trying my best ok! Why must you condemn me?
Why must you give comments that make me feel so irritated and want me to talk back to you?
Why must you change my character to more impulsive kind? Why must you irritate me and make me feel like a damn weird stupid one?

I used to be a happy one, but now I am not optimistic about everything
I know I have to live happily, I WILL TRY

I wish to be the 'girl' behind you supporting you.
I also wish you are the one supporting me, remembering the actions you promised not the words only. Now that I can't tell you verbally, because I will be irritating to you.
I love you loads, I hope for a better r/s btw us

Last but not least. 20.04.07 just past. 6months exactly. half a yr. Its like so fast. But the memories are still there and so close. Its so long you been gone but to me it's like just a long time didn't meet up or saw u around, doesn't seems to feel that you been gone to heaven. I just feel so sad when I read ur bros blog in times.

Anyway, been crying lots this few days. And I didn't realise my eyes are sort of swollen just now, my mum can even sense it and ask if I cried isit?

You are why I live for... at -4/20/2007 11:43:00 PM

Thursday, April 19, 2007

I don't give a damn to you!
But I am writing here doesn't mean I give a damn to you! But I am just sick of replying those stupid comments you say!

You think you are clever? smart?

come on, challenge me den...

You are why I live for... at -4/19/2007 12:58:00 AM

Saturday, April 14, 2007

Hope that we are still the best buddies. Hope the misunderstanding will be leave as past.Hope that we will keep each other company like the past in school.

You are why I live for... at -4/14/2007 01:33:00 PM

Friday, April 13, 2007

Christina Aguilera - Walk Away

What do you do when you know something's bad for you
And you still can't let go?

I was naive
Your love was like candy
Artificially sweet
I was deceived by the wrapping

Got caught in your web
And I learned how to plead
I was prey in your bed
And devoured completely

And it hurts my soul
Cos I can't let go
All these walls are caving in

I can't stop my suffering

I hate to show that I've lost control

Cos I, I keep going right back

To the one thing that I need to walk away from

I need to get away from it
I need to walk away from it
Get away, walk away, walk away

I should have known
I was used for amusement
Couldn't see through the smog
It was all an illusion

Now I've been licking my wounds (licking my wounds)
Woke up in love and seems so great (deeper, deeper)
We both can't subdue
Darling you hold me prisoner (prisoner)

I'm about to break
I can't stop this ache

I'm addicted to your lure

and I'm feeling for a cure

Every step I take

Leads to one mistake
I keep going right back
To the one thing that I need...

I can make it
It's some state I'm in
Getting nothing everytime
What did I do to deserve

The pain of this moment

And everywhere I turn

I keep going right back

To the one thing that I need to walk away from

I need to get away from it
I need to walk away from it
Get away, walk away, walk away

Everytime I try to grasp for air
I get smothered and this sky, it's never over, over
Seems I never wake from this nightmare
I let out a solid breath, let it be over, over

Inside I'm screaming
Breaking, pleading the world
Ahh...

My heart has been bruised
So sad but it's true
Each peep reminds me of you

It hurts my soul

Cos I can't let go

All these walls are caving in

I can't stop my suffering

I hate to show that I've lost control

Cos I, I keep going right back
To the one thing that I need...
I'm about to break
I guess I missed it

I'm addicted to your lure
And I'm feeling for a cure
Every step I take
Leads to one mistake
I keep going right back
To the one thing that I need...

I can make it
It's some state I'm in
Getting nothing everytime
What did I do to deserve
The pain of this moment
And everywhere I turn
I keep going right back
To the one thing that I need to walk away from

I say...
I need to get away from it
I need to walk away from it
Get away, walk away, walk away
Only thing I need to do is walk away

END

You are why I live for... at -4/13/2007 11:42:00 PM

Christina Aguilera - Underappreciated

I remember when it all first began
We were tight right from the start
It wasn't long before you came on strong
Trying hard to win my heart (trying to win it)
I played hard to get but I couldn't help
I gave up my ironing

You were thoughtful
Careful not to hurt the relationship
What happened to those days when

You used to be compassionate

Caring what I thought and said

So attentive gentleman

Now it's hard to turn your head away from the TV set
Taking me for granted lately
Frankly, it's gotta quit
I feel underappreciated

Now girls help me out
'Cause you know what I'm talking about I say
I'm feeling underappreciated

For all the time and effort I have put in this commitment
Back to the beginning, to the very beginning

When our love was something new
Back when romance was important
Not just another thing to do
I was feeling high on love tonight
Thought I never come back down

Now it seems that you and me
Have lost our solid ground
Half the time I realise
I seem to give more than I get
Funny how things seem to change

After a few years commitment
Used to talk for hours on end
'Bout our dreams while we lay in bed

How I missed those days when you stayed awake
Now you roll over and snore instead
I feel underappreciated

For all the time and effort I have put in this commitment
Oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
I miss those nice massages

The long for closeness

The way you talk

How it turned me on

The thoughtfulness and the sweetest lips

I needed those days back

You are why I live for... at -4/13/2007 11:41:00 PM

Happen to see these beautiful balloons from Felicia blog...

Its true, balloons keeps one happy

Furthermore, its full of colours balloons...

I love colours, so color my life with balloons...

But I will never get them.No one will give them to me....

Thursday. went gym in morning with parents, lunch with them. Cut hair. ( alot pattern, love it)
5pm reached bedok. For facial with mum. Dad waited for us outside for 2hrs.

Nite time many troubles, many unpleasant things. don't wish to say anymore. it doesn't bother me anymore( AS IF)
I just hate the way

You are why I live for... at -4/13/2007 12:46:00 AM

Monday, April 02, 2007

You are why I live for... at -4/02/2007 10:30:00 PM

(i believe)
although you are not beside me
we cant separate like this

(i believe)
the path for me
is just coming around the long way

through all those memories that have already passed
im hurting myself and making myself cry

without crying like i did
i wish that you can leave me without feeling the pain that i felt
because i know that you will return to me one day
because im believing

ill be waiting
because i cant be without you

(i believe)
because you were afraid that you would hurt me
you couldnt even cry
(i believe)
my flowing tears
will return you to me
i keep thinking of your face
and its making me cry

without crying like i did
i wish that you can leave me without feeling the pain that i felt
because i know that you will return to me one day
because im believing

ill be waiting
because i cant be without you

before i knew you
i didnt know the world was so bright and wonderful
although im just left with tears under the sky
ill still stay and wait here

because the reason is you
waiting is happy enough
with love as my only reason
ill wait even if i forget which way the day passes
ill be waiting
because i cant be without you

You are why I live for... at -4/02/2007 04:32:00 PM