Friday, April 20, 2007
I am tired.I haven't been really blogging as in blogging longer and relevant post. My previous post are mostly songs and short messages. It's not that I have nothing to talk about, I have alot alot to say, but I don't know how to start. All out of sudden, everything seems to be back to square, everything doesn't seems to go right, suddenly don't know to put my feelings and thoughts into words.School: It doesn't seems to go smooth for me, out of no reason got a C for chemistry, one that I thought I could score. One that I have done a lot in contributing and understanding, and helping my team mates to understand. But I got a C in e end, WTH. Its really sadden and disappointment, just the 1st grade and a 1st C in the start, BAD START okay! DAMN, and I don't know the reason for it, worst, there is no individual comment, but bad comment for the team, but my team mates got a B. Its really sucks lah, tell me my individual comment lah if want to give me C.
In my new class, E44F, there's like 8 to 10 people I already knew. Kinda bad and good. As some I don't really like and its really irritating to meet them again. And also numbers of competitive in this class, esp one.
Overall, My modules are: Applied chemistry, Biomedical signal processing, biomedical instrumentation. Elective: Sports and nutrition. and of course FYP- wireless thermometer
I know that I am stupid and lousy now. You have no idea how sad I am. In sec sch, I am well known as a hardworking, intelligent girl, top 10 in the level.
But now, what others comment to me? what others think of me?
SO what if I am a girl taking a course relating to engineering? I may not have a intelligent brain as much as you have, but least I am trying my best ok! Why must you condemn me?
Why must you give comments that make me feel so irritated and want me to talk back to you?
Why must you change my character to more impulsive kind? Why must you irritate me and make me feel like a damn weird stupid one?
I used to be a happy one, but now I am not optimistic about everything
I know I have to live happily, I WILL TRY
I wish to be the 'girl' behind you supporting you.
I also wish you are the one supporting me, remembering the actions you promised not the words only. Now that I can't tell you verbally, because I will be irritating to you.
I love you loads, I hope for a better r/s btw us
Last but not least. 20.04.07 just past. 6months exactly. half a yr. Its like so fast. But the memories are still there and so close. Its so long you been gone but to me it's like just a long time didn't meet up or saw u around, doesn't seems to feel that you been gone to heaven. I just feel so sad when I read ur bros blog in times.
Anyway, been crying lots this few days. And I didn't realise my eyes are sort of swollen just now, my mum can even sense it and ask if I cried isit?
You are why I live for... at -4/20/2007 11:43:00 PM